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Areas › Worry and anxiety › Facing it a step at a time
For one person it is a shower before anything else. For another it is having the bag packed the night before, or eating something warm, or ten minutes with nobody talking at them. Write yours down while things are calm, because you will not think of them on a hard morning. Then treat the list as preparation for the step rather than as a replacement for it.
Facing a fear in steps works, and it works best with someone guiding the ladder. Read this as an explanation of how it works, and take the steps themselves to a therapist.
God willing, you will find me patient (Quran 18:69). Moses states his own commitment before a hard undertaking, in his words rather than anyone else's.
الكهف
قَالَ سَتَجِدُنِيٓ إِن شَآءَ ٱللَّهُ صَابِرࣰ ا وَلَآ أَعۡصِي لَكَ أَمۡرࣰ ا
Moses said, ‘God willing, you will find me patient. I will not disobey you in any way.’
Qur’an 18:69read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A component network meta-analysis of treatment for panic disorder compared what relaxation, breathing retraining, cognitive restructuring, interoceptive exposure and real world exposure each contribute. The components are not equal, and the soothing ones are not where most of the work happens. So your own preparation is worth having and is scaffolding rather than the thing that shifts the fear.
Pompoli A, Furukawa TA, Efthimiou O, Imai H, Tajika A, Salanti G. (2018). Dismantling cognitive-behaviour therapy for panic disorder: a systematic review and component network meta-analysis.. Psychological medicine doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
A routine you named yourself is the one you will still be doing in three weeks.
Being pushed into something before you are ready does more than frighten you. It teaches you that the pacing you were promised cannot be trusted, and that is the harder thing to repair.
It helps to have one small set of moves you use whatever the worry is wearing today. Not a fresh technique for each fear, just the same few steps, learned well enough to reach for without thinking.
Say out loud, before you start, that there will be bad weeks. Then when one turns up it is a thing you expected rather than proof the whole plan was nonsense.