Loading practices
Loading practices
Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD › Systems for daily life
This works for studying, tidying, paperwork and the weekly shop, because what you are borrowing is presence rather than help. Agree a start time and a finish time, then get on with your own task. It does not need to be someone who understands your work. A flatmate reading on the sofa, a video call left open in the corner, a friend who also has a form they have been avoiding since March.
Help one another to do what is right and good (Quran 5:2). Sitting alongside someone while they do a dull necessary thing is a small and real form of that.
المائدة
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا تُحِلُّواْ شَعَٰٓئِرَ ٱللَّهِ وَلَا ٱلشَّهۡرَ ٱلۡحَرَامَ وَلَا ٱلۡهَدۡيَ وَلَا ٱلۡقَلَٰٓئِدَ وَلَآ ءَآمِّينَ ٱلۡبَيۡتَ ٱلۡحَرَامَ يَبۡتَغُونَ فَضۡلࣰ ا مِّن رَّبِّهِمۡ وَرِضۡوَٰنࣰ اۚ وَإِذَا حَلَلۡتُمۡ فَٱصۡطَادُواْۚ وَلَا يَجۡرِمَنَّكُمۡ شَنَـَٔانُ قَوۡمٍ أَن صَدُّوكُمۡ عَنِ ٱلۡمَسۡجِدِ ٱلۡحَرَامِ أَن تَعۡتَدُواْۘ وَتَعَاوَنُواْ عَلَى ٱلۡبِرِّ وَٱلتَّقۡوَىٰۖ وَلَا تَعَاوَنُواْ عَلَى ٱلۡإِثۡمِ وَٱلۡعُدۡوَٰنِۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ شَدِيدُ ٱلۡعِقَابِ
so, you who believe, do not violate the sanctity of God’s rites, the Sacred Month, the offerings, their garlands, nor those going to the Sacred House to seek the bounty and pleasure of their Lord––but when you have completed the rites of pilgrimage you may hunt. Do not let your hatred for the people who barred you from the Sacred Mosque induce you to break the law: help one another to do what is right and good; do not help one another towards sin and hostility. Be mindful of God, for His punishment is severe
Qur’an 5:2read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A randomised trial with 257 employees compared planning on its own, partner support on its own, and both together, following whether physical activity kept going over six months. It is a different behaviour, so it does not show that a study partner gets your essay written. It is the closest thing here to a direct test of what another person adds to a task you already intended to do.
Prestwich A, Conner MT, Lawton RJ, Ward JK, Ayres K, McEachan RR. (2012). Randomized controlled trial of collaborative implementation intentions targeting working adults' physical activity.. Health psychology : official journal of the Division of Health Psychology, American Psychological Association doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Another person nearby lifts you just enough to start something dull, without them having to do any of it for you.
Putting something in the diary does not guarantee it happens. It gives it a chance it did not have before. That is the honest promise, and it is still worth having.
If a year out is coming, call it a bridge rather than a gap. A gap is a hole in a record. A bridge is going somewhere.
If everything you do is both urgent and important, you are living in the emergency corner. It is exhausting, and the exhaustion is real even though the week looks thin from outside.