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Areas › Worry and anxiety › The cost of avoiding
Supports meant as a bridge have a way of becoming the new normal, and by the spring nobody remembers they were temporary. Decide at the outset what the smaller version looks like and roughly when it starts, then review on that date whether or not anyone raises it. The direction is the whole point: fewer props and more ordinary school, over months rather than weeks.
We shall be sure to guide to Our ways those who strive hard for Our cause: God is with those who do good (Quran 29:69). The promise attaches to movement, so a plan ought to have a direction in it.
العنكبوت
وَٱلَّذِينَ جَٰهَدُواْ فِينَا لَنَهۡدِيَنَّهُمۡ سُبُلَنَاۚ وَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَمَعَ ٱلۡمُحۡسِنِينَ
But We shall be sure to guide to Our ways those who strive hard for Our cause: God is with those who do good
Qur’an 29:69read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Work on getting the most from exposure notes that how far fear falls during a given practice does not predict how things go afterwards. It comes from theoretical reviews rather than a head to head trial, and the picture is not settled. It does argue against using present comfort as the measure of whether a support should stay in place.
Craske MG, Kircanski K, Zelikowsky M, Mystkowski J, Chowdhury N, Baker A. (2008). Optimizing inhibitory learning during exposure therapy.. Behaviour research and therapy doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Anything that is not planned to shrink tends to stay, and whatever stays becomes the level everyone expects.
If a child can go to the school office whenever they like and stay as long as they like, that is an exit rather than a support. Agree a length, and a gap between visits.
Getting a child back through the gates is not the same as helping them. Ask what the school day is asking of them that they cannot face yet, and put your effort there.
Two stretches of childhood carry most of this: the first years of school, and the middle years around the move to secondary. Knowing that lets you prepare instead of react.