Picture the part of you that scans for threat as a guard on the door. Loyal, suspicious, remembers everything, gives nobody the benefit of the doubt. Excellent in a crisis, difficult company at dinner.

Part of what makes anger attractive is how simple it makes everything. Working out who was right and what to do next is slow and uncertain, and anger hands you an answer straight away.

When somebody says they were not scared, they just do not like being disrespected, take the dislike seriously. We dislike what threatens us, and that is why we avoid it.

Darwin once stood with his face against the glass in front of a viper, quite determined not to move, and jumped backwards anyway when it struck. Deciding in advance does not govern a startle.