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Areas › Anger › Cool the body first
Being told to notice when you are getting angry rarely works, because noticing is the first thing anger takes away. One specific, checkable place is easier: the hands, the jaw, the pitch of your voice. Pick the one you can actually feel, and attach a plan to it, even if the plan is only to unclench and breathe out.
Who remember God standing, sitting, and lying down (Quran 3:191). The body's position is treated as part of the practice, so what your hands are doing counts as information.
آل عمران
ٱلَّذِينَ يَذۡكُرُونَ ٱللَّهَ قِيَٰمࣰ ا وَقُعُودࣰ ا وَعَلَىٰ جُنُوبِهِمۡ وَيَتَفَكَّرُونَ فِي خَلۡقِ ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِ رَبَّنَا مَا خَلَقۡتَ هَٰذَا بَٰطِلࣰ ا سُبۡحَٰنَكَ فَقِنَا عَذَابَ ٱلنَّارِ
who remember God standing, sitting, and lying down, who reflect on the creation of the heavens and earth: ‘Our Lord! You have not created all this without purpose- You are far above that!- so protect us from the torment of the Fire
Qur’an 3:191read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Pooled neuroimaging studies show that heart rate variability, a measure of how the heart's rhythm varies, tracks activity in prefrontal and amygdala circuits, which supports using a bodily measure as a readout of how threat is being handled. That is a laboratory measure rather than a fist at a kitchen table, and the parallel is loose. The transferable idea is that the body reports on your state, so it is a sensible place to look.
Thayer JF, Ahs F, Fredrikson M, Sollers JJ, Wager TD. (2012). A meta-analysis of heart rate variability and neuroimaging studies: implications for heart rate variability as a marker of stress and health.. Neuroscience and biobehavioral reviews doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
A specific bodily sign is something you can check, unlike a general instruction to be self aware.
A sigh opens the chest and drops the guard for a second. That is part of why it feels like relief and part of why the other person softens too.
Clench your fist a few times, then open it a different way each time: fingers first, thumb last, slowly, all at once. The second half is the harder half, and it is the whole exercise.
If you notice a hard locked stare, in yourself or in the room, look away. Empty space is the safest thing to look at, because it says nothing back.