Before you practise something exposing with someone, say out loud what is not at risk. I will not think less of you, and nothing between us changes here.

What the research says

A randomised trial of programmes for men who had been violent towards partners found that adding motivational strategies improved participants' empathy, which those programmes had set out to build. It supports working alongside someone rather than at them. That was a particular population and one measured outcome, so read it as a pointer about stance and not a rule about wording.

Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.