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Areas › Anger › Cool the body first
You can check mid set. Ask what you are actually attending to. Counting, the burn in your arms and the sound of your breathing are all signs the anger script has dropped out. Their face, their words, the reply you are drafting are signs it has not, and that is the moment to switch to something with no aggressive shape to it at all.
Bear everything they say with patience (Quran 50:39). Patience is put right beside the provocation, which is exactly where this check belongs.
ق
فَٱصۡبِرۡ عَلَىٰ مَا يَقُولُونَ وَسَبِّحۡ بِحَمۡدِ رَبِّكَ قَبۡلَ طُلُوعِ ٱلشَّمۡسِ وَقَبۡلَ ٱلۡغُرُوبِ
So [Prophet], bear everything they say with patience; celebrate the praise of your Lord before the rising and setting of the sun
Qur’an 50:39read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
In a randomised comparison, a brief mindful breathing exercise increased people's sense of standing back from their own thoughts more than muscle relaxation or loving-kindness practice did, and reduced negative reactions to repetitive thinking. That supports the checking move itself. Whether exercise shaped like hitting feeds aggression is genuinely unsettled, and it is fair to hold it open.
Feldman G, Greeson J, Senville J. (2010). Differential effects of mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and loving-kindness meditation on decentering and negative reactions to repetitive thoughts.. Behaviour research and therapy doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
It is the rehearsed story, not the raised heart rate, that keeps anger alive.
Watch your hands. A fist that has closed without you deciding to close it is often the earliest honest report you get that you are angry.
Trace a slow circle with your finger, on your knee or in the air, once a day. One a day is the whole prescription, which is why it survives contact with real life.
Better to hum like a bee than to sting like one. Silly, and that is why it will still be there when you need it.