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Areas › Anger › Cool the body first
Rumination is an accurate word and a heavy one, and people who already feel judged tend to close up when it appears. A picture does the same job without the label. Once someone can say the pull is on again, they have something to act on, and there is nothing to defend themselves against.
You, soul at peace (Quran 89:27). A state is given a name so it can be spoken to, and naming what is pulling at you works the same way.
الفجر
يَٰٓأَيَّتُهَا ٱلنَّفۡسُ ٱلۡمُطۡمَئِنَّةُ
‘[But] you, soul at peace
Qur’an 89:27read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Language helps people stay in the room, and it does not settle what will actually help them. A meta-analysis comparing cognitive therapy with relaxation training found the two were not interchangeable: relaxation did as well as cognitive therapy for generalised anxiety, while cognitive therapy was clearly better for panic. A good metaphor is worth having, and it is not a substitute for choosing a method that fits the problem.
Siev J, Chambless DL. (2007). Specificity of treatment effects: cognitive therapy and relaxation for generalized anxiety and panic disorders.. Journal of consulting and clinical psychology doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Naming a process rather than a person gives someone something to work with instead of something to argue with.
If you feel yourself rising, sit down. It is the smallest instruction in the whole toolkit and often the one that works.
You already own this one. Let out a sigh of relief right now, on purpose, and notice that your body knew exactly what to do.
While you drink, follow the cold going down the back of your throat. It turns a sip into half a minute of attention resting somewhere other than the argument.