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Areas › Your marriage › Answering bids
Thinking of you. A small signal across the hours that says you are on my mind.
God tells His servants to say what is best to one another. A short message sent for no reason, just to say you are on my mind, is one of the easiest good words there is.
الإسراء
وَقُل لِّعِبَادِي يَقُولُواْ ٱلَّتِي هِيَ أَحۡسَنُۚ إِنَّ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنَ يَنزَغُ بَيۡنَهُمۡۚ إِنَّ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنَ كَانَ لِلۡإِنسَٰنِ عَدُوࣰّ ا مُّبِينࣰ ا
[Prophet], tell My servants to say what is best. Satan sows discord among them: Satan is a sworn enemy of man
Qur’an 17:53read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Emotionally focused therapy holds that a bond is kept alive on purpose, through small repeated moments of reaching rather than occasional grand ones. A message sent for no reason but contact is one of those moments, and it tells your spouse they are carried through your day.
Susan M. Johnson (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown
Conversation 7, Keeping Your Love Alive. Johnson holds that a bond is maintained deliberately, through small daily rituals of reaching and responding, because attachment security is a practice rather than a state a couple arrives at.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Unprompted contact through the day reinforces felt connection.
Where this sits: EFT, Hold Me Tight Conversation 7: Keeping Your Love Alive, small deliberate acts of reaching.
In a raw, vulnerable moment, ask your partner directly for comfort and reassurance instead of hiding the need.
Answer the small bid today: the passing comment is really a reach for your attention.
Once a day, take turns unloading the day's outside stress while the other just listens and supports, not fixes.