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Areas › Grief and loss › Patience and trust
The pain is real and expected, not a sign that something has gone uniquely wrong with you.
We shall test you with fear and loss; give good news to those who are steadfast (Quran 2:155). The loss was foretold, and so was the good news for those who hold.
البقرة
وَلَنَبۡلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيۡءࣲ مِّنَ ٱلۡخَوۡفِ وَٱلۡجُوعِ وَنَقۡصࣲ مِّنَ ٱلۡأَمۡوَٰلِ وَٱلۡأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ
We shall certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of property, lives, and crops. But [Prophet], give good news to those who are steadfast
Qur’an 2:155read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Resilience, not collapse, is the most common response to loss. Expecting to endure, rather than to be destroyed, is part of what makes it so.
Bonanno, G. A. (2004). Loss, trauma, and human resilience: Have we underestimated the human capacity to thrive after extremely aversive events?. American Psychologist doi
Resilience is the most common outcome after loss; open grief and steady recovery routinely coexist.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Seeing loss as an expected, survivable part of life supports a steadier response to it.
Where this sits: Sabr and acceptance; resilience in bereavement.