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Areas › Your marriage › Gratitude
Notice the small good things and say thanks. Appreciation given often keeps goodwill flowing.
Be thankful to Me, and never ungrateful (Quran 2:152). Gratitude to God overflows into gratitude to the people He gave you.
البقرة
فَٱذۡكُرُونِيٓ أَذۡكُرۡكُمۡ وَٱشۡكُرُواْ لِي وَلَا تَكۡفُرُونِ
So remember Me; I will remember you. Be thankful to Me, and never ungrateful
Qur’an 2:152read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Gottman's advice is to catch your partner getting it right and to thank them on the spot, rather than only noticing the lapses. Frequent, specific thanks builds the goodwill a couple draws on when conflict comes.
John M. Gottman; Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown
Principle 2, Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration. An active habit of appreciation is the antidote to contempt, which Gottman names the single greatest predictor of divorce. Fondness is rebuilt by rehearsing what is right about the partner rather than by waiting to feel it.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Frequent, specific thanks for small acts reinforces them and deepens mutual goodwill.
Where this sits: Gottman method, The Positive Perspective (catch your partner getting it right).