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Areas › Your body › Touch and bodywork
It sounds fanciful until you have felt it once, and then it is obvious. Rest your hand, keep the pressure steady, and let the softening decide the pace. For anyone who has had touch imposed on them, this is not just good technique: being able to say no and having it register is part of what makes the contact worth anything. Say so out loud if you are working with someone else.
'Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind' (Quran 4:19). The standard set for the closest bodily relationship there is holds just as well for a hand on someone's face.
النساء
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمۡ أَن تَرِثُواْ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرۡهࣰ اۖ وَلَا تَعۡضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذۡهَبُواْ بِبَعۡضِ مَآ ءَاتَيۡتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأۡتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةࣲ مُّبَيِّنَةࣲۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـࣰٔ ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرࣰ ا كَثِيرࣰ ا
You who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will, nor should you treat your wives harshly, hoping to take back some of the bride-gift you gave them, unless they are guilty of something clearly outrageous. Live with them in accordance with what is fair and kind: if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which God has put much good
Qur’an 4:19read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
In a randomised trial of 60 people with long standing mechanical neck pain, adding connective tissue massage to stabilising exercises improved pain, anxiety and quality of life more than exercise alone. Slow work on the tissue was doing something beyond the mechanical. It was one modest trial and it did not compare gentle contact with forceful contact.
Celenay ST, Kaya DO, Akbayrak T. (2016). Cervical and scapulothoracic stabilization exercises with and without connective tissue massage for chronic mechanical neck pain: A prospective, randomised controlled trial.. Manual therapy doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Pushing into a guarded muscle makes it guard harder, while waiting lets it choose to let go.
The first twinge often brings back every previous episode with it, and that dread is not separate from the pain. Fear tightens the muscles and turns the volume up.
When the person in front of you starts yawning during body work, it is usually not boredom. Bodies yawn as they let go of what they were holding.
What you started with often changes as you go. The headache becomes sadness, the irritation becomes fear. Follow the new thing rather than dragging the old one along.