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Areas › After harm › Safety and grounding
Our nervous systems settle in the presence of safety. A calm, attuned other, or a steadying practice of remembrance, sends the body cues of safety that reason alone cannot.
In the remembrance of God hearts find peace (Quran 13:28). Turning toward Him, like turning toward a safe presence, is where a shaken heart is given its rest.
الرعد
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَتَطۡمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِۗ أَلَا بِذِكۡرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطۡمَئِنُّ ٱلۡقُلُوبُ
those who have faith and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God- truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace
Qur’an 13:28read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
The nervous system reads safety largely through connection: the calm, attuned presence of another person sends signals that quiet the threat response in a way willpower cannot. Borrowing a safe person's steadiness, or a steadying ritual, is a legitimate and powerful way to bring a frightened body back down.
Porges, S. W. (2007). The polyvagal perspective. Biological Psychology doi
The nervous system shifts between states of safety and defence; cues of safety and calming the body restore the capacity to think and connect.
Strength of evidence: long taught, never tested. Widely used and long taught. No trial has established that it works.
Cues of safety from a calm, responsive presence down-regulate the threat response and restore the capacity to think and connect.
Where this sits: Polyvagal and co-regulation: cues of safety from a calm presence.
Breathe out longer than you breathe in, a few times. A slow breath tells the body it is safe.
When the past floods in, name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can touch. Come back to now.
Build one place or time in your day that reliably feels safe, and return to it when you need steadying.