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Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
There are two ways to widen the gap between being provoked and responding: get better at noticing, and get better at choosing. They are separate skills, and having both means one can cover for the other.
On a good day you catch the heat rising and that alone gives you room. On a bad day you will catch nothing at all, and what saves you then is a…
If someone can predict how you drew those circles, they are not reading your mind. We are all running much the same small programmes.
That is worth saying plainly, because the discovery lands as a personal indictment for a lot of people, and shame makes anger worse rather than…
Now draw a fourth circle and choose everything about it: how big, where on the page, which way round, where you start. Notice how much heavier that feels.
The weight is the point. Deliberate control has a texture to it, and most people can feel the difference between the first three circles and the…
After you do something deliberately, skip the question of what you did differently. Ask what it felt like from the inside.
A description of the behaviour leaves you nothing to search for later, because in the moment there will be no paper in front of you. A felt sense is…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.
Aim for the cat rather than the dog. The dog goes off the second the door knocks, while the cat waits, watches, and still moves decisively when it decides to move.
Plenty of people hear delay as backing down, and would rather explode than be walked over. Watching an animal that waits without being timid…