Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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981 practices

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Work properly at the parts that can be managed, then be at peace with what is left over. The order matters more than it sounds.

Peace offered before any real effort is giving up with better vocabulary, and it never quite convinces the person saying it. Effort with no end point…

Five minutesSelf-compassionADHD skillsQur’an 22:78One line of research

Every list, timer and rule exists to buy you a life worth having. If the systems have quietly become the point, something has turned the wrong way round.

It is easy to end up managing your ADHD as a full time occupation and calling that recovery. A better test of a week is whether it held anything you…

Five minutesSelf-compassionADHD skillsQur’an 7:156One line of research

For a lot of people with ADHD there are only two times: now, and not now. A deadline on Thursday and one six months out sit in the same box until the day they suddenly become today.

This is worth knowing because it explains why being told the date again does nothing. You knew the date. What was missing was the sense of it coming…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 23:113One line of research

Spotting on day one that a procedure is pointless is a real skill. Saying so in the first meeting is the part that costs people the job.

The observation is rarely the problem. It is that it arrives before anyone asked, from someone who has been there a fortnight, often with the…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 20:114One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Breathing

Screens and attention

What worry does

Moving your body

Feeling from the inside

What you are actually defending

Feelings and focus

Making it stick

Being seen and judged

Structure and routine

Treatment and medication

Obsessions and compulsions

Remembering to do it

Growing empathy

Breaking the worry loop

Righteous anger and perfectionism

When you use something to cope

Tolerate distress

Self-compassion

Emotions as signals

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Posture and how you carry yourself

Question the thought

When anger turns to harm

Facing it a step at a time

Staying regulated in conflict

Anger, alcohol and the body

Use your strengths

Living with uncertainty

Shared spiritual life

Repair after rupture

The cost of avoiding

Get it out of your head

Knowing your partner

Let the wave come

Rest and pacing

Your worth is not conditional

Face it gently

Letting it out safely

Notice the pattern and flex

Your window of tolerance

Look back over your own history for the times you were knocked down and started something anyway. That pattern is common with ADHD, and it is easy to miss while you are busy counting the failures.

It may be a side effect of not weighting the future heavily. The past does not press down quite as hard either. People who have been sacked, dropped…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 25:47One line of research

Every trait worth having here arrives with its twin. A love of the offbeat and a real problem with deadlines are the same wiring seen from two sides.

Strength lists that leave the cost out are not believable and they do not help anybody. Pair them instead. If you are the one who finds the…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:38One line of research

A clever workaround can hide a difficulty for years. A child who memorises what he cannot read looks fine, right up until the amount to be read grows past what memory can carry.

So do not judge by output alone. Ask what it cost to produce. Someone keeping up but exhausted, dreading the reading, staying up late to cover it, is…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 2:189One line of research

Think of your sense of the future as how far out to sea you can spot a ship. How far depends on your eyesight, and also on how big and bright the ship is and what the weather is doing.

That last part is the useful bit. The same person sees a wedding six months off perfectly clearly and misses a form due on Tuesday completely,…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:39One line of research

How far ahead a person can hold in mind grows as they get older. A five year old on Monday does not care about Saturday, a fifteen year old should, and by thirty most people can worry about a pension.

Reading it that way changes what you are looking at. The question is not whether someone cares but whether their reach is what you would expect at…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 22:5One line of research

Short sight is a fair comparison. If you cannot see far, the ship has to come close before it exists for you, and no amount of trying harder brings it into view sooner.

Which is why glasses are the right idea rather than effort. For time, glasses mean anything that puts the future in front of you before it arrives:…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 21:37One line of research

If it is not happening now, it is often not being thought about at all. Not faintly, not somewhere in the background. Not there.

That changes what a reminder has to do. Turning up the volume on a faint signal is useless when there is no signal at all. The thing has to be made…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 59:18One line of research

There are two quite different ways of putting things off. One is anxious and full of dread. The other is perfectly calm until the pressure arrives, and then everything happens at once.

The difference matters because the help is not the same. Where there is dread, the work is with the fear, and approaching the task in small doses…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 10:5One line of research

A small job due tomorrow feels heavier than a big one due next week. Everyone works this way. It is simply stronger with ADHD, and it quietly wrecks any list ordered by importance.

Which is why ranking tasks by what matters most tends to fall apart by Tuesday. Your felt sense of weight is set by how near a thing is, so an…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 17:11One line of research

Fun things serve the present. Important things serve the future. Put like that, you can see why the advice to just do the important thing is asking rather a lot.

It asks you to act on the part of the picture you can least feel. So let the important thing serve the present a bit too: do it with someone, do it…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 103:1One line of research

The further off something sits, the less it weighs on today's decision. That is not a flaw in your reasoning. It is how the weighing works for everybody.

It also explains something that often gets read as dishonesty. The plan you made on Monday was sincere. By Thursday the reward for keeping it has…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3One line of research

One more episode tonight is obviously worth it, and by eleven the next morning it obviously was not. Nothing changed except where you were standing in time.

Everyone recognises this, which makes it a good thing to notice rather than a private failing. The exchange rate flips overnight: tomorrow's…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:10One line of research

When a deadline or a reward sits a long way off, it can feel almost weightless, while the thing in front of you feels enormous. That is not you being shallow. It is a shortened view of time doing what it does.

You can notice it in the gap between what you know and what you feel. You know the report matters more than the tidying, it just does not feel that…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 59:18One line of research

If you keep choosing whatever is in front of you, the reasoning is probably working properly. It is the information going in that is off, because the future arrives faint and the present arrives loud.

This matters for where you spend your effort. Trying harder to decide well, on inputs that are skewed, mostly produces guilt. Changing what you can…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 10:5One line of research

Knowing that leaving it until Thursday went badly last month does not change what Monday feels like. The memory is there, but it turns up flat, with none of the pressure still attached to it.

So the same week repeats, and from outside it looks as though nothing was learned. What helps is not remembering harder but putting something into…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 18:23One line of research

How long will this take is really several questions at once. There is the doing, and there is finding everything you need before you can start, and the second one is usually missing from the guess.

Next time you estimate something, split it out loud: how long to gather what I need, how long to actually do it, how long to put it all away again.…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 65:3One line of research