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Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Follow the chain. The anger points at a fear, and the fear points at what you believe is at stake. That last thing is what you are actually dealing with.
Once it has passed, ask what you were afraid of in that moment, then ask whether the threat was really there. Being spoken over is not the same as…
When someone says they did not really mean it, that it was not really them, the temptation is to hear an excuse. It is usually better information than that.
Take the disowning seriously and ask what state it came out of. What time was it, how long had they been online, what had happened that day, had they…
To react is to act again. Some of what fires in you belongs to an older scene, and the person in front of you has simply walked into it.
This is not a way of excusing what you do, it is a way of aiming the work. When a reaction is far bigger than the moment deserves, ask what it…
In a bad moment your attention, your seeing and your remembering all narrow onto the threat. So your memory of the row is a partial recording, and so is theirs.
Worth holding on to before you go back over who said what. Neither of you is necessarily lying when the two accounts differ. Starting with here is…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.
Anger feels righteous while it lasts. The useful moment comes later, when the regret shows up and the story has gone quiet.
Nobody changes course mid-shout, and pressing then only adds fuel. Hours or a day afterwards there is usually a stretch where a person is…