Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

What matches

11 practices

Narrow these down

Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.

For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:214One line of research

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10One line of research

Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.

One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 12:83One line of research

Sometimes the thing that stops your tears is an order somebody gave you decades ago, and you are the one carrying it out now. One woman found her father's words sitting behind a habit of wiping her face dry the moment she cried.

That is worth knowing because it changes who the rule belongs to. It was his voice, in her hands, running long after he had gone. Naming the source…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 16:127One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Feelings and focus

When everything feels flat

Structure and routine

Being seen and judged

Treatment and medication

When you use something to cope

What worry does

Shared spiritual life

Feeling from the inside

Breaking the worry loop

Fondness and admiration

What you are actually defending

Facing it a step at a time

Answering bids

Tolerate distress

Staying regulated in conflict

Listening and understanding

Obsessions and compulsions

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Gratitude

Posture and how you carry yourself

Self-compassion

Use your strengths

Emotions as signals

Rituals of connection

Affection and touch

Question the thought

Anger, alcohol and the body

Shame

Rebuilding trust

Living with uncertainty

Notice the pattern and flex

Your worth is not conditional

Get it out of your head

Find meaning

Face it gently

When anger turns to harm

Listen to the body

Care for yourself in loss

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Panic and the body

Your window of tolerance

Safety and grounding

Whoever is going to do the feeling picks what to work with. The tightness in the chest, the closing throat, the anger, the grief, whichever one they are ready for today.

Choosing keeps the person in charge of the dose, and being in charge is a fair part of what makes this different from whatever happened to them. If…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:286One line of research

A hard feeling is not damage and it is not a bad attitude. It is a feeling, meant to be felt, and the only real question is at what pace.

Plenty of people were raised to treat their own sadness or anger as a failure of character, so the feeling arrives and shame arrives just behind it.…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 21:83One line of research

Some people are not frightened of a place or an animal. They are frightened of their own racing heart, their own tears, their own anger, and it behaves like any other fear: it grows on avoidance and shrinks on careful contact.

That framing is useful because it tells you what to do next. You do not have to understand where it came from before anything can change. What you…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:155One line of research

Ask what you were taught about crying, about anger, about needing anything. Not what you believe now, but what you were told then, in the words that were actually used.

Most rules about feelings were installed rather than chosen, and once you can hear the original sentence, boys do not cry, do not be so sensitive, it…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 3:186One line of research

If a movement keeps cutting a feeling short, work with the movement rather than the feeling. Stay with the dabbing of the eyes itself, slowly, and see what turns up.

The defence is usually easier to be with than the raw emotion, and it often carries the memory. Repeat it gently, notice the arm, the hand, the…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 21:84One line of research

When one bit of you wants to let the feeling come and another bit is frightened of it, you are not being difficult. You are two things at once, and both of them have their reasons.

The frightened side is usually the one that kept you going for years, so shoving past it tends to make it dig in harder. It works better to turn…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 16:127One line of research

Before you go anywhere near the hard memory, you need to be able to stay in your own body while something difficult is happening in it. That capacity is part of the work, not a delay before it starts.

Phase based approaches put this first for a plain reason: people who cannot bear the arousal either drop out or push through and come away worse. If…

LongerTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 3:200One line of research