Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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23 practices

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You do not need a diagnosis to be worth teaching this to. Something that takes seconds, costs nothing and travels with you is worth having before you need it.

Practise it on an ordinary day, sitting on the bus or waiting for the kettle, so your hands already know it when the day is not ordinary. That is…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 106:4Long taught, never tested

When you sit down to breathe, notice your pelvis. Tucked hard under or tipped hard forward both squeeze the breath; somewhere in the middle lets the diaphragm move.

Rock gently forward and back a few times and stop where the breath feels easiest, rather than aiming for a posture that looks correct. You will…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 2:22Long taught, never tested

When you offer someone a practice, ask them to tell you if it did nothing, and mean it. Say out loud that plenty of these do not land.

People agree that things helped for all sorts of reasons: not wanting to seem difficult, not wanting to disappoint you, having learned long ago that…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 16:53Long taught, never tested

If your attention has no filter, everything in the room arrives at once, and you are tired before the day's actual work begins. That is not laziness, it is a bill coming due.

Two things drain you at the same time: the unfiltered noise itself, and the effort of holding yourself together in spite of it. That is why the…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 28:73Long taught, never tested

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Remembering to do it

Breaking the worry loop

When you use something to cope

What you are actually defending

The moment before you snap

Facing it a step at a time

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Choosing your response

Self-compassion

When everything feels flat

Use your strengths

Anger, alcohol and the body

Shame

Tolerate distress

Being seen and judged

Emotions as signals

Obsessions and compulsions

When anger turns to harm

Touch and bodywork

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Question the thought

Practising under provocation

Rest and pacing

Feeling from the inside

The benefit of a settling practice is cumulative. A fortnight of it now and then does little; the people who get most out of it are the ones who kept going for years.

This cuts both ways, and both are worth knowing. Two weeks of daily practice with no obvious result is not proof that it will not work for you. And…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 33:41Long taught, never tested

Your mind wandering off during meditation is not you failing at it. Noticing that it went, and coming back, is the whole exercise.

People with restless attention often try meditation, find their head full of noise, decide they are uniquely bad at it and never go back. Nobody…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 50:16Long taught, never tested

Think of your thoughts as traffic on a road. Practice thins the traffic. It does not close the road, and nobody has ever managed to close it.

This is a more useful target than clearing your mind, because you can tell whether it is happening. Some days it is bumper to bumper and the practice…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 13:28Long taught, never tested

Once a day, go from head to feet and notice what is there. A good deal of what you find will be plain need: thirsty, hungry, needing the loo, needing to stand up.

When you get absorbed in something these signals go unheard for hours, and then you wonder why you feel dreadful by four o'clock. The scan is dull,…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 106:4Long taught, never tested

Brain imaging does show that practice changes something. Be careful with anyone who tells you a great deal more than that.

It genuinely helps to know that sitting and breathing is not nothing, particularly if you have been told your whole life to just try harder. It also…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 2:255Long taught, never tested

Five minutes chosen for the state you are actually in beats twenty minutes of open sitting. Pick the one labelled stressed, or cannot sleep, or about to walk into work.

Two things end a practice early: it was longer than the attention you had that day, and you had to decide what to do before you could start. Short…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 33:41Long taught, never tested

If you have spent thirty years being told you are careless, lazy or too much, no attention technique will touch that. Kindness practice, aimed at yourself, is the part that does.

It usually feels absurd at first, and slightly embarrassing, which is worth expecting rather than reading as a sign that it is not for you. Start…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 9:118Long taught, never tested

In muscle relaxation you are usually told to let go slowly. If slow leaves you fidgeting, let go all at once. The version you will keep doing is the better version.

The standard sequence is to tense a muscle group, hold it, then release gradually, and for some people that long release is unbearable to sit…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 3:191Long taught, never tested

Your eyes are an input too. A photo of someone who loves you and a plain soft coloured wall will settle you; a busy bright screen will lift you.

Hardly anyone thinks to arrange what is in front of them, and it is one of the easier things to change. Put a picture where you actually sit. Turn…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 40:64Long taught, never tested

Take the spine through all six of its movements: forward, back, bending to each side, turning to each side. Standing or sitting, it takes under five minutes.

Doing the whole set matters more than doing any one of them beautifully. Left to ourselves we skip the direction that feels stiff or guarded, and…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 51:48Long taught, never tested

Let the breath go along with the movement rather than counting it out. If you are guiding someone, do not set the pace of their breathing for them.

Being told exactly when to breathe in and out is unpleasant for more people than you would expect, and for anyone whose breath was held tight through…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 48:4Long taught, never tested

If sitting still with your eyes closed has never worked, do it moving. Walking, washing up, gardening: the exercise is the same, and there is something to hold on to.

Sitting meditation asks for the hardest possible version of the task, sustained inward attention with nothing outside to grip. Attach attention to…

Twenty minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 3:191Long taught, never tested

Walk somewhere at a deliberately slower pace than normal. Stop now and then to look at something properly, and let your breathing settle into the pace.

Choosing to go slower is itself the exercise, because it is a small piece of holding back that you can actually feel. Ten minutes is plenty. Outdoors…

Twenty minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 67:15Long taught, never tested

If your child is learning to settle, learn it alongside them rather than supervising. Parents who practise report less stress of their own and less flying off the handle.

Attention difficulties run in families, so the adult in the room is often working with much the same wiring at the end of a longer day. Practising…

Twenty minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 16:80Long taught, never tested

If your imagination runs away with you, use it rather than fight it. Guided imagery gives a vivid mind somewhere to go.

Being able to disappear into a scene is a real ability, even when it has mostly got you into trouble at school and in meetings. A recording that…

Twenty minutesGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 40:64Long taught, never tested

Left, right, left, right. Walking, swimming, drumming and rowing all give the body the same steady side to side rhythm that the seated techniques are copying.

If tapping your own shoulders feels odd, or you would rather not do anything that looks like a technique, go for a walk instead and let the rhythm do…

Twenty minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 20:53Long taught, never tested