Practices

Worry does two things at once. It makes the problem bigger than it is and it makes you smaller than you are. The second half is the one that usually goes unchallenged.

After years of being told you get things wrong, a low estimate of yourself does not feel like a distortion, it feels like the evidence. So argue with…

When someone has gone flat, the question is not what they ought to be doing. It is what still has any life in it for them, however small or unimpressive, and then how to get more of that.

Activities handed out from the outside do not lift much. Someone who brightens talking about their car, or a cousin, or a game has just given you the…

Sometimes the answer is not a better system. It is doing less, including giving up something you love, because what it costs you has stopped being affordable.

Scouts on a Tuesday, the second job, the committee. Losing one of these is a real loss and it is worth grieving rather than pretending you never…

Explain the calming corner on a quiet Tuesday, not in the middle of a meltdown. New instructions do not go in once a child is already rising.

Walk them through it when nothing is happening. This is where it is, this is what you can do there, this is how you come back. Let the whole class…