Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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191 practices

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The thought that nobody at the party will want to talk to you is chemistry, not a report about the world. You do not have to disprove it. You only have to notice where it came from.

Arguing with an anxious thought while the alarm is still ringing is heavy work and it rarely goes well. Reclassifying it is lighter: this is what my…

A minuteBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 50:16One line of research

Not every kind of quiet is calm. Settled feels warm and present. Shut down feels flat, far away and oddly fine.

Learning the difference in your own body is worth the trouble, because the two states need opposite things. If you are settled, stay there. If you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 89:27One line of research

Before picking a calming technique, work out which way you are off. Revved up and shut down need opposite things.

Wound up: slow the out breath, lower the lights, less input. Shut down: more input, movement, sound, a change of room. The common mistake is running…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191One line of research

Try saying it plainly, out loud if you can: my body did what it needed to do, and I am still here.

Say the specific version rather than the general one. My body went still so it would be over sooner. My body kept quiet so it would not be noticed.…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:1One line of research

Aim low on purpose. Not the best day of your life. I like my cat. I got here on time.

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Being seen and judged

What worry does

Bringing the future closer

Shame

Treatment and medication

Food, caffeine and fuel

Screens and attention

Feelings and focus

Feeling from the inside

Medication and how it works

Shame and stigma

Equanimity and perspective

Letting it out safely

Growing empathy

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Rest and pacing

Remembering to do it

Question the thought

What you are actually defending

Breaking the worry loop

Panic and the body

Obsessions and compulsions

When you go numb

Moving your body

When everything feels flat

Self-compassion

Facing it a step at a time

Big positive memories tend to backfire: they are hard to reach on a bad day, and for some people feeling good at all starts a wait for the other shoe…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 30:23One line of research

Calm can feel unsafe if you have not had much of it. Take it in small amounts and let it be strange at first.

Grounding exercises sometimes leave people more agitated rather than less, and then they decide they are doing it wrong. Often the truth is that…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 48:4One line of research

When you are far from settled, aim for the next step rather than for calm. Rattled is a real improvement on numb.

There is a rough order to these states: shut down at the bottom, revved up in the middle, settled and connected at the top. Coming back tends to…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:25One line of research

Freezing is not something you decided on. It is what was left once the other options had gone.

A mouse does not try to charm a cat. It runs, and if it is caught it goes limp, and none of that is a considered plan. People ask themselves for…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7One line of research

Before you close your eyes for anything calming, spend a minute looking round the room. Let your eyes land wherever they want to.

Closing your eyes too early is one reason relaxation exercises backfire. If your body has not registered that the room is fine, going inward means…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 67:23One line of research

Breath reaches the settling machinery faster than reasoning does, because it works on a part of the brainstem that does not wait for your opinion.

That is why arguing yourself out of a panic rarely works while six slow breaths often do something. It also explains why breath practice can feel…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 50:16One line of research

Cold water on your face, particularly at the hairline and around the lips, sets off a reflex that slows the heart. It is one of the few things fast enough to interrupt real panic.

A splash at the sink, a few minutes outside in cold air, or a bowl of cold water if you have one to hand. There is a quieter version for when you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:46One line of research