Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD
Focus, starting, and ADHD
Most advice about focus is written for a brain that starts easily. This area is not. It covers what ADHD actually is, how to make a start when starting is the hard part, how to bring a future consequence close enough to feel, and how to stop paying for it in shame.
What works for this
Implementation intentions
Putting things off is mood repair rather than laziness: delay removes the bad feeling straight away and the cost lands later. So the move is not more willpower, it is a plan specific enough to run without a decision.
One move, today
Write one sentence: when it is [time] and I am at [place], I will [the first small action]. Naming when and where is the part the evidence supports.
What matches
11 practicesBefore handing anyone a new system, make sure they can say back why it should work better than what they are doing now. A strategy with no reason attached gets dropped the first time it is inconvenient.
Ask them to explain it to you in their own words and listen for whose reason it is. If the logic is only yours, it will hold for about a week. It is…
Ask what they think this will cost them in effort, then say what you think. People rarely give up because a strategy failed. They give up because it turned out to be harder than anyone had told them.
Be specific about the first fortnight, since that is when it is worst and the payoff has not arrived yet. Someone who expected a small effort and met…
Ask someone to repeat a made up word and memory cannot rescue them. That is exactly why this small task keeps finding difficulties a clever, well practised person hides everywhere else.
Real words can be recalled, and a strong memory will lift a score without the skill underneath being there at all. A word that has never existed…
Phonological awareness is not one skill. Telling sounds apart, rhyming, breaking a word into its sounds and blending them back are separate jobs, and a child can be fine at one and stuck at another.
Before agreeing that a child needs phonics, find out which piece is missing. Ask them to say the sounds in cat, then to join up sounds you give them,…
A display organised by sound rather than by alphabet gives a child more to hold on to. Let them feel where each sound is made, lips, tongue, teeth, and match that to the letters that spell it.
Reading is learned from speech towards print, so a border running A, B, C tells a child very little about what they are actually doing. Grouping by…
Being given a medicine that holds no licence for your condition can feel like being experimented on. Usually it means the evidence is decent but thinner than a licence demands.
Bupropion is the common case. It helps some people with attention difficulties, often alongside a stimulant, and it never gained the indication, so…
These are among the best studied medicines in psychiatry, in use for decades. Most of the hesitancy around them traces back to how they get covered in the press rather than to the safety record.
Saying that is not the same as saying there is nothing to watch. Heart rate and blood pressure shift a little, appetite and sleep often need…
For a family stuck on whether to medicate at all, the comparison with diabetes often unlocks something. Nobody manages diabetes on diet alone, and nobody calls insulin a moral failure.
Offered gently it moves the question from what kind of parent am I towards what does this condition need. Played as a trump card it makes people…
The potential for misuse belongs to one of the three families rather than to ADHD medicines generally. The stimulants reach the reward circuitry and the others do not.
That gives a clear answer where there is a substance history in the house, or a worry about tablets going missing at school. Say plainly that a…
Ask two questions and then sit with the difference. How much time on this would you like? And how much do you think is actually good for you?
Almost nobody gives the same answer twice, and the gap between the numbers is more persuasive than anything you could have told them, because they…
Take the Friday deadline and walk it backwards onto the days. What happens Monday, what happens Tuesday, written down where both of you can see it.
Children with this difficulty rarely generate the sequence themselves, and asking them to is asking for the thing that is hard. So supply it, on…
