Areas › Focus, starting, and ADHD
Focus, starting, and ADHD
Most advice about focus is written for a brain that starts easily. This area is not. It covers what ADHD actually is, how to make a start when starting is the hard part, how to bring a future consequence close enough to feel, and how to stop paying for it in shame.
What works for this
Implementation intentions
Putting things off is mood repair rather than laziness: delay removes the bad feeling straight away and the cost lands later. So the move is not more willpower, it is a plan specific enough to run without a decision.
One move, today
Write one sentence: when it is [time] and I am at [place], I will [the first small action]. Naming when and where is the part the evidence supports.
What matches
7 practicesLet the child score themselves on the same sheet the teacher scores. Two columns, filled in separately, then looked at together.
At first the two columns can be miles apart, and that is the useful bit rather than a problem. Nobody is being caught out. Over the weeks the gap…
Good help leaves you more able to do it yourself next time. If the whole thing only works while the other person is in the room, something has gone sideways.
There is a real difference between someone building your schedule for you and someone sitting beside you while you build it. The second is slower and…
When you agree to something, agree who follows up. Do you tell them if it slips, or do they check in with you?
Most of the hurt around late work comes from nobody having said. You assume they will ask, they assume you will speak up, and the silence in between…
If you keep it all in your head, it is worth asking who else is keeping it. Very often somebody nearby is doing the remembering, and neither of you has ever said so out loud.
This matters because from outside it looks like coping, right up until that person is away, unwell or worn out by it. Ask the plain question at home:…
A behaviour agreement needs six things in it: the goal, exactly what the child does, what they earn, what happens if they do not, signatures from everyone, and an adult who sticks to it.
Most of these fall apart over what was meant rather than over what was done, so write the specifics down to the level of what counts as finished. The…
Work the deal out with the child instead of handing it to them. Much the same rules, an entirely different feeling.
Let them argue for a bit longer on the console, or for Friday off, and give ground where you honestly can. The terms tend to land in roughly the same…
Some of what feels like a flaw in your character is really a job that can be handed to something outside your head: a calendar, a list on the wall, a person who helps you lay out the week.
Coaching for attention difficulties is mostly this, and nothing more mysterious. Someone sits with you, builds the week, works out what comes first,…