Lesson 4 of 6 · Step out, then come back
Sound reports, and every one of them is a small move
Notice what these ask for. None of them asks you to summon a state of mind. Each one is a small physical or verbal move that anyone can do while angry, which is precisely the point, because a state of mind is not available at that moment and a change of posture is.
One is a posture instruction. If you are angry standing, sit. If it has not gone, lie down. The others are a single episode carried on three sound chains: one sentence, seeking refuge, offered to a man who was visibly furious, and every one of them keeps the detail that he refused it and asked whether the Prophet, peace be upon him, thought he was mad. That detail is worth keeping, because it is what actually happens when you offer somebody a technique in the middle of a surge.
The fullest of the three also carries the red face and the swollen veins. The signal from lesson one and the technique from this lesson are sitting inside the same report.
And the posture instruction has a reason attached to it in the classical commentary, which is worth having because the reason is mechanical rather than spiritual. Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali, in Jami' al-Ulum wa'l-Hikam.
وقد قيل إن المعنى في هذا أن القائم متهيئ للانتقام والجالس دونه في ذلك والمضطجع أبعد عنه فأمره بالتباعد عنه حالة الانتقام
Our rendering: and it has been said that the meaning of this is that the standing man is poised for revenge, the sitting man is below him in that, and the lying man is further from it, so he commanded him to distance himself from the state of revenge.
Standing, sitting, lying down. It is a ladder away from what your body is currently set up to do, and nothing on it asks you to feel differently first.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The posture instruction. If you are angry standing, sit. If it has not gone, lie down. None of these asks you to summon a state of mind, because a state of mind is not available at that moment and a change of posture is.
Narrated AbuDharr: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down
Sunan Abi Dawud 4782graded sound, albanithe Arabic and its grading
The first of the three chains carrying the single episode. One sentence, seeking refuge, offered to a man who was visibly furious. This one also carries the red face and the swollen veins, so the signal from lesson one and the technique are sitting inside the same report.
Narrated Sulaiman bin Surad:While I was sitting in the company of the Prophet, two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger, and his jugular veins swelled (i.e. he became furious). On that the Prophet said, "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.' then all his anger will go away." Somebody said to him, "The Prophet has said, 'Seek refuge with Allah from Satan."' The angry man said, "Am I mad?
Sahih al-Bukhari 3282graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
Two men abused each other and one went red in the face, and he said, I know a word which if he said it would go from him: I seek refuge in Allah from Satan. The second of the three chains carrying that episode, and every one of them keeps the detail that the man refused it.
Narrated Sulaiman bin Sarad:Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax if this man says it. Only if he said, "I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.' " So they said to that (furious) man, 'Don't you hear what the Prophet (ﷺ) is saying?" He said, "I am not mad
Sahih al-Bukhari 6115graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
The same episode in Muslim, with the same one sentence offered to a man in a rage. That detail of the refusal is worth keeping, because it is what actually happens when you offer somebody a technique in the middle of a surge.
Sulaiman b. Surad reported that two persons abused each other in the presence of Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) and one of them fell into a rage and his face became red. Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) saw him and said:I know of a wording; if he were to utter that, he would get out (of the fit of anger) (and the wording is): I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed. Thereupon, a person went to him who had heard that from Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) and said to him: Do you know what Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said? He (the Holy Prophet) said: I know of a wording; if he were to say that, (the fit) would be no more (and the words are): I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed. And the person said to him: Do you find me mad?
Sahih Muslim 2610graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading