The line, and it is not on a sliding scale

This is the plainest thing in the course and it is not softened.

If your anger has become physical with another person, or if you have broken things, or if somebody in your home is frightened of you, then this is a safety matter and not a self help matter. It does not matter how much they provoked you, how tired you were, or how sorry you are afterwards. The line is about what happened, not about what you meant.

The same applies if someone has told you they are afraid of you, or has started changing what they say and do to keep you calm, or if you are having thoughts of harming a specific person.

Working through an anger course on your own in that situation is not a neutral thing to be doing. It can become a reason to delay, and the delay is the risk. Stop here and use the next step.