Anger is usually second

Something almost always got there first, and anger is the version of it that feels active instead of exposed.

Fear is the most common one. Then humiliation, which is fear about how you look to somebody. Then helplessness, when you cannot fix a thing that matters. Then grief. Then an expectation that got broken, which is why the smallest domestic things produce the largest reactions.

Anger is preferable to all of those because it feels like power rather than like being small. That is not a fault in you. It is what the feeling is for. The cost is that the first thing never gets said, so it never gets addressed, and it turns up again next week wearing the same disguise.