Lesson 4 of 6 · Step out, then come back
The one sentence
Keep the plan to the part you control on your own, which is the leaving and the sentence.
The move
The timed step out
10 minutes or less
- Before you need it, agree the words with the person: I am going to step out for twenty minutes and I am coming back.
- When you notice the sign, say the words and go. Do not slam anything on the way.
- Twenty minutes. Walk if you can. Do not rehearse the argument while you are out, because rehearsing it is what makes it worse.
- Come back at twenty minutes whether or not you feel finished. Coming back is the part that makes this different from storming off.
If it does not work
If you come back still hot, say so and take another twenty. Two rounds is fine. What is not fine is not coming back, because that is what turns a technique into a punishment.
Write the one sentence
A specific plan works better than a good intention. Fill both halves in your own words.
When
I will
Put it in your calendar
Pick a day and a time and you will get a calendar file to open. Nothing is sent anywhere.
Kept in this browser only.