Lesson 5 of 6 · What sits underneath, and what feeds it

The one sentence

Take the most physical and least interesting one. That is not a lesser plan, it is the one that works.

The move

Naming what is underneath

5 minutes or less

After the next time, when it is over, ask what came a half second before the anger.
The options are usually few: embarrassed, frightened, disrespected, helpless, tired.
Write the word down. Anger is almost always second.
Separately, pick one feeder to change: sleep, hunger, or how much you are carrying alone.

If it does not work

If nothing comes, use tired. It is right more often than any of the others and it is the easiest one to do something about.

A specific plan works better than a good intention. Fill both halves in your own words.

When

I will

Put it in your calendar

Pick a day and a time and you will get a calendar file to open. Nothing is sent anywhere.

Kept in this browser only.