Lesson 4 of 6 · Give worry an appointment
Worry does not respond to being argued with
You already know this. You have tried. You answer one worry and it comes back wearing a different hat, and the new one is slightly worse.
You have probably also tried the other thing, which is refusing to think about it. That does not work either, because checking whether you have stopped thinking about something is thinking about it. This has been tested rather than assumed. People asked not to think of something report it more, not less, and it comes back harder once the instruction is lifted.
So neither arguing nor pushing away. There is a third option, and it is much duller than either. You give the worry a time.
What the research says
People told not to think about something thought about it more, and more again afterwards. Trying not to have a thought means checking whether you are having it, which is having it.
People told not to think about something thought about it more than people who were never given the instruction, and more again afterwards. Trying not to have a thought requires you to keep checking for it, which is having it.
Wegner DM, Schneider DJ, Carter SR, White TL (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53(1), 5 to 13 doi