Lesson 3 of 6 · Why checking makes it louder
The relief is real, and that is the problem
When you check, or repeat, or ask, the anxiety does drop. That part is not imaginary. It genuinely comes down, and quite quickly.
That drop is what teaches your brain that the check was necessary. So the next time the doubt turns up it turns up with more urgency, because last time the check was what saved you. You check again, it works again, and the loop tightens.
None of this makes you weak. It is exactly how learning is meant to work. It is simply pointed at the wrong thing.
What the research says
A response that takes discomfort away keeps being made long after the danger has gone, because removing something unpleasant rewards a behaviour just as reliably as a gain does. That is learning working correctly, not a defect in you.
Reviews why a response that removes discomfort keeps being made long after the danger is gone. Taking something unpleasant away rewards the behaviour that took it away just as reliably as a gain would. That is learning working correctly, aimed at the wrong thing.
Krypotos AM, Effting M, Kindt M, Beckers T (2015). Avoidance learning: a review of theoretical models and recent developments. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, 9, 189 doi
People who faced what they feared while dropping the thing they do to feel safe came away believing the feared outcome less. The act that settles you is the act that stops the belief ever being tested.
People who faced what they feared while dropping the thing they did to feel safe came away believing the feared outcome less. The act that settles you is what stops the belief ever being tested.
Salkovskis PM, Clark DM, Hackmann A, Wells A, Gelder MG (1999). An experimental investigation of the role of safety-seeking behaviours in the maintenance of panic disorder with agoraphobia. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 37(6), 559 to 574 doi