Lesson 3 of 6 · Your child has a status, and some of what you were sent is not sound
Asking, and seeking treatment, are both in the text
If somebody has implied that continuing to want this, or continuing treatment, is a failure of tawakkul, here is the material.
Zakariyya asked for a child. He was old, his wife could not bear children, and he asked anyway, and he was answered rather than reproached. Ibrahim praises Allah for granting him children in old age. And in the account in Surah al-Anbiya the wife is described as being cured, which is the Qur'an describing a physical intervention in exactly this situation, in medical vocabulary.
The verses about Allah giving males, or females, or both, or making whom He wills barren, are frequently quoted at couples to mean stop the treatment. They say who decides the outcome. They do not tell any human being to stop taking means, and if they did, the same logic would forbid eating.
The two reports below are the strongest correction there is. Servants of Allah, use remedies, said in the imperative, in answer to a question ordinary people asked. And that Allah has not created a disease without creating its treatment.
What this course does not do is rule on any specific treatment. Whether a particular procedure is permitted, and on what conditions, is genuinely disputed among contemporary scholars, and the conditions attached to it are specific enough that they cannot travel without the case in front of them. Third party gametes and surrogacy are a separate and more contested question again. Take your clinic's own protocol to your own scholar. That answer is theirs, not ours. Our only job here is to remove the false blocker that seeking help is itself a failure of trust.
Qur’an and Sunnah
That is Zakariyya asking for a child, in his own words rather than in a general statement about the decree.
هُنَالِكَ دَعَا زَكَرِيَّا رَبَّهُۥۖ قَالَ رَبِّ هَبۡ لِي مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةࣰ طَيِّبَةًۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ
There and then Zachariah prayed to his Lord, saying, ‘Lord, from Your grace grant me virtuous offspring: You hear every prayer.’
Qur’an 3:38
The angels called out to him with news of Yahya. That is the answer he was given, and it came after the asking rather than instead of it.
فَنَادَتۡهُ ٱلۡمَلَٰٓئِكَةُ وَهُوَ قَآئِمࣱ يُصَلِّي فِي ٱلۡمِحۡرَابِ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُبَشِّرُكَ بِيَحۡيَىٰ مُصَدِّقَۢا بِكَلِمَةࣲ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ وَسَيِّدࣰ ا وَحَصُورࣰ ا وَنَبِيࣰّ ا مِّنَ ٱلصَّٰلِحِينَ
The angels called out to him, while he stood praying in the sanctuary, ‘God gives you news of John, confirming a Word from God. He will be noble and chaste, a prophet, one of the righteous.’
Qur’an 3:39
He was old and his wife could not bear children, and he asked anyway. He was answered rather than reproached.
قَالَ رَبِّ أَنَّىٰ يَكُونُ لِي غُلَٰمࣱ وَقَدۡ بَلَغَنِيَ ٱلۡكِبَرُ وَٱمۡرَأَتِي عَاقِرࣱۖ قَالَ كَذَٰلِكَ ٱللَّهُ يَفۡعَلُ مَا يَشَآءُ
He said, ‘My Lord, how can I have a son when I am so old and my wife is barren?’ [An angel] said, ‘It will be so: God does whatever He will.’
Qur’an 3:40
Ibrahim praising Allah for granting him children in old age, a second example of the asking being met rather than rebuked.
ٱلۡحَمۡدُ لِلَّهِ ٱلَّذِي وَهَبَ لِي عَلَى ٱلۡكِبَرِ إِسۡمَٰعِيلَ وَإِسۡحَٰقَۚ إِنَّ رَبِّي لَسَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ
Praise be to God, who has granted me Ishmael and Isaac in my old age: my Lord hears all requests
Qur’an 14:39
My Lord, do not leave me childless. The same request in Surah al-Anbiya, and it is shown here because of what the next verse says happened.
وَزَكَرِيَّآ إِذۡ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُۥ رَبِّ لَا تَذَرۡنِي فَرۡدࣰ ا وَأَنتَ خَيۡرُ ٱلۡوَٰرِثِينَ
Remember Zachariah, when he cried to his Lord, ‘My Lord, do not leave me childless, though You are the best of heirs.’
Qur’an 21:89
The answer to that request, and the wife is described as being cured. That is the Qur'an describing a physical intervention in exactly this situation, in medical vocabulary.
فَٱسۡتَجَبۡنَا لَهُۥ وَوَهَبۡنَا لَهُۥ يَحۡيَىٰ وَأَصۡلَحۡنَا لَهُۥ زَوۡجَهُۥٓۚ إِنَّهُمۡ كَانُواْ يُسَٰرِعُونَ فِي ٱلۡخَيۡرَٰتِ وَيَدۡعُونَنَا رَغَبࣰ ا وَرَهَبࣰ اۖ وَكَانُواْ لَنَا خَٰشِعِينَ
We answered him––We gave him John, and cured his wife of barrenness- they were always keen to do good deeds. They called upon Us out of longing and awe, and humbled themselves before Us
Qur’an 21:90
Frequently quoted at couples to mean stop the treatment. Read what it says. It says who decides the outcome.
لِّلَّهِ مُلۡكُ ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِۚ يَخۡلُقُ مَا يَشَآءُۚ يَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ إِنَٰثࣰ ا وَيَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ ٱلذُّكُورَ
God has control of the heavens and the earth; He creates whatever He will- He grants female offspring to whoever He will
Qur’an 42:49
Like the verse before it, this says who decides the outcome. It does not tell any human being to stop taking means, and if it did, the same logic would forbid eating.
أَوۡ يُزَوِّجُهُمۡ ذُكۡرَانࣰ ا وَإِنَٰثࣰ اۖ وَيَجۡعَلُ مَن يَشَآءُ عَقِيمًاۚ إِنَّهُۥ عَلِيمࣱ قَدِيرࣱ
male to whoever He will, or both male and female, and He makes whoever He will barren: He is all knowing and all powerful
Qur’an 42:50
The strongest correction there is. Servants of Allah, use remedies, said in the imperative, in answer to a question ordinary people asked.
Usamah bin Sharik said:"Some Bedouins asked: 'O Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) shall we treat (our ill)?' He said: 'Yes, O worshipers of Allah! Use remedies. For indeed Allah did not make a disease but He made a cure for it' - or - 'a remedy. Except for one disease.' They said: 'O Messenger of Allah (s.a.w)! What is it?' He said: 'Old age
Jami' at-Tirmidhi 2038graded sound, albanithe Arabic and its grading
And that Allah has not created a disease without creating its treatment. The boundary is worth being clear about. Neither report rules on any specific treatment, and whether a particular procedure is permitted goes to your own scholar with your clinic's protocol in front of them.
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "There is no disease that Allah has created, except that He also has created its treatment
Sahih al-Bukhari 5678graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.