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Areas › Worry and anxiety › What worry does
You do not have to argue yourself into confidence. Swap the verdict for a smaller sentence: I do not know yet. Then take one step that would actually tell you something. Anxiety inflates the size of the thing and shrinks your sense of what you could handle, so what corrects it is usually a test rather than a debate.
Do not lose heart or despair (Quran 3:139). It was said to people who were frightened, not to people who were fine.
آل عمران
وَلَا تَهِنُواْ وَلَا تَحۡزَنُواْ وَأَنتُمُ ٱلۡأَعۡلَوۡنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤۡمِنِينَ
Do not lose heart or despair- if you are true believers you have the upper hand
Qur’an 3:139read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
A meta-analysis of randomised trials, measured with a standard worry questionnaire, found cognitive therapy reduced pathological worry in adults with generalised anxiety disorder. Working on the thinking does move the worry itself and not only mood in general. These were courses of therapy with a therapist, so a version you apply to yourself is a smaller thing than what was tested.
Hanrahan F, Field AP, Jones FW, Davey GC. (2013). A meta-analysis of cognitive therapy for worry in generalized anxiety disorder.. Clinical psychology review doi
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Trading a verdict for a question leaves room for the situation to show you what is true.
When someone is genuinely distressed by what happens on their phone, treat it as a reading of their anxiety rather than as a complaint about screen time.
If attention and planning are already hard work for you, then the very tools for handling anxiety are the things you find difficult. That is not a failure to try. It means the plan needs more scaffolding and more repetition.
You do not have to win the argument in your head before your body is allowed to settle. The two run on separate tracks and you can work on either.