The same plan works in a calm week and falls apart in a chaotic one. That is not motivation coming and going. You began the chaotic week with less in reserve and spent most of it before the decisions that mattered arrived.

The parts of this that look like lifestyle, meaning sleep, driving, drinking, appointments that get missed, are the parts carrying the most risk across a lifetime. They are also the most changeable parts.

The feeling that you were let in by mistake is common among capable people with ADHD, and it has a plain source. A patchy performance history gives you real evidence of inconsistency, and fraud is simply the wrong explanation for it.

Most of what other people do is about their own day rather than about you. That is easier to hold once you have also admitted that in childhood, sometimes, it genuinely was about you.