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Areas › Low mood and hard feelings › Ride the urge
The urge to snap, to check, to give in. Name it, breathe, and let it crest and pass.
Seek help through patience and prayer (Qur'an 2:153). Patience is not gritted teeth; it is riding the wave until it passes, leaning on Him.
البقرة
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱسۡتَعِينُواْ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ وَٱلصَّلَوٰةِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ مَعَ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ
You who believe, seek help through steadfastness and prayer, for God is with the steadfast
Qur’an 2:153read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
An urge watched, rather than fed or fought, rises and falls by itself, usually within minutes. Each time you ride it out, it loses strength.
Bowen, S.; Marlatt, A. (2009). Surfing the urge: Brief mindfulness-based intervention for college student smokers. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors doi
Watching an urge rise and fall without acting on it (urge surfing) reduced smoking, showing urges pass on their own if not fed.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Observing an urge without acting lets it subside on its own and weakens it over time.
Where this sits: Mindfulness-based urge surfing (relapse prevention).
Before acting on a strong impulse, wait ten slow breaths. Decide after, not during.
If a movement keeps cutting a feeling short, work with the movement rather than the feeling. Stay with the dabbing of the eyes itself, slowly, and see what turns up.
Some newer antidepressants do two jobs in a single tablet: the familiar one of keeping serotonin available, plus a direct nudge at the receiving end.