Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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10 practices

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When someone has missed the deadline again, the talk about how they always do this changes nothing except how they feel. If you want a different Friday, the conversation belongs on Monday, and it is about the plan rather than the person.

This is a hard one, because the frustration is real and often fair. But the lecture lands on a system that was never the failure point, and it adds…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 103:3One line of research

Instead of one warning, give several: half an hour, fifteen minutes, five, one. The child then has time to arrive at the ending rather than having it dropped on them.

A single warning asks a child to track the gap on their own, which is the thing they cannot do. A ladder of prompts turns a stretch of time into a…

A minuteYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 36:39One line of research

A child who is blind to time is not ignoring the deadline. They are living in whatever is happening right now, with no sense that the bell is close or that Friday's test has anything to do with today.

It shows up as reacting to each moment rather than moving through a day with a shape. Adults read that as not caring, and the child usually cannot…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 21:37One line of research

The pattern usually ends the same way. Nothing feels urgent, then the deadline lands all at once, and the child panics and produces something poor or nothing at all.

Once you can see the sequence, you can step in near the beginning instead of managing the wreckage at the end. Say it out loud with the child,…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skills

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Treatment and medication

Breathing

Choosing your response

Cool the body first

Emotions as signals

Growing empathy

Equanimity and perspective

Get started

When everything feels flat

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Shame and stigma

When you use something to cope

Posture and how you carry yourself

Tolerate distress

Remembering to do it

Touch and bodywork

Being seen and judged

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Practising under provocation

Panic and the body

Obsessions and compulsions

Making it stick

Shame

Rest and pacing

Feeling from the inside

The fear underneath anger

When you go numb

Living with uncertainty

Qur’an 18:23

One line of research

If the test is on Friday and it is Monday, Friday is doing almost no work. Put something today on the end of today's revision, however small.

This is not spoiling a child. It is matching the reward to the timescale they can actually feel, which is roughly the one they are living in. Half an…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 78:11One line of research

If the only real feedback a child gets arrives every ten weeks, it will not shape a single Tuesday. A report at the end of term is a record, not a motivator.

This is worth saying gently to teachers and to parents who feel that grades ought to be motivation enough. For this child they are not, and no amount…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 18:19One line of research

For younger children, make the reward small, concrete and soon. Stickers, points, a smiley face, five minutes of something good, handed over the same hour rather than at the end of the week.

Points that build towards something bigger work well, as long as the point itself arrives immediately. Hourly is not too often for a young child, and…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 11:114One line of research

Keep consequences for the sake of honesty, but let praise and reward do most of the work. Punishment can tell a child what to stop and it cannot tell them what to do instead.

Children with this difficulty collect an extraordinary amount of correction over a childhood, from teachers, from parents, from other children.…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 30:17One line of research

Go looking for the moment the child does the thing you have been asking for, and say so while it is still happening. Most of us watch for the problem and only notice the good behaviour when we have run out of trouble.

It helps to decide in advance what you are hunting for, so that starting the homework without being asked, or waiting a turn, actually registers…

Five minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 25:62One line of research

If the internal clock is not there, put clocks in the room. Somewhere the child can see without turning round, a timer on the desk, one on the wall by where they work.

Think of it as a prop rather than a cure. The aim is not to train an ability into existence before the child is allowed to cope, it is to let them…

Twenty minutesYour sense of timeADHD skillsQur’an 6:96One line of research