Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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27 practices

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With your eyes closed, bring to mind someone who is glad to see you, and let your face receive that look. A small smile usually arrives in the eyes on its own.

It can be someone you love, someone who loved you, a teacher from years ago, or an animal. The point is not the memory but the feeling of being…

A minuteTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 20:39One line of research

Let the corners of your mouth lift about as much as they would if you had just remembered something mildly pleasant. Not a smile anybody would notice.

This comes from dialectical behaviour therapy, where it is used as a way of softening without pretending. You are not being asked to feel happy, and…

A minuteTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 90:17One line of research

Tap the fleshy outside edge of your hand and say something like: even though I feel this, I accept myself completely. Three times, in whatever words are actually true for you.

The shape of the sentence is the point. It names the problem and refuses to make your worth conditional on solving it, which is the exact opposite of…

A minuteTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 2:263One line of research

Work one side of your face or body first, then stop and compare. The difference between the treated side and the untreated one is often surprisingly clear.

This is a useful trick if you tend to finish a practice thinking nothing happened. Rather than asking whether you feel better, which is a vague…

A minuteTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 12:96One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Practising under provocation

Shame and stigma

Feelings and focus

Making it stick

Treatment and medication

What worry does

Cool the body first

Being seen and judged

Remembering to do it

Growing empathy

Breathing

When you use something to cope

Feeling from the inside

What you are actually defending

Fondness and admiration

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Obsessions and compulsions

Answering bids

Tolerate distress

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Staying regulated in conflict

Use your strengths

Self-compassion

Knowing your partner

Shared spiritual life

Breaking the worry loop

Facing it a step at a time

Gratitude

Question the thought

Anger, alcohol and the body

Emotions as signals

Posture and how you carry yourself

Shame

Living with uncertainty

Your worth is not conditional

When you go numb

Notice the pattern and flex

When anger turns to harm

Get it out of your head

Your window of tolerance

Panic and the body

The cost of avoiding

Affection and touch

Care for yourself in loss

Listening and understanding

End by pressing your palms together and staying there a moment. Each hand is giving and being given to at the same time.

It is a small thing that lands hard for people who only know how to be the one who helps. Notice the warmth and the pressure and notice that you…

A minuteTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 2:187One line of research

Finish by letting your eyes travel slowly from one side to the other a few times, open or closed, then bring them back to the middle and notice how you are.

The idea borrowed from EMDR is that this helps the calmer state settle in rather than evaporate at the door. Whether it does that is not established,…

A minuteTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 39:23One line of research

If light touch makes you squirm but firm deep pressure feels wonderful, that is worth knowing about yourself. It is the same preference behind weighted blankets and a very tight hug.

Once you know it, you can arrange for it: a heavier duvet, a firm rather than gentle massage, sitting with your back against something solid,…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 16:80One line of research

The study most often quoted for magnetic stimulation in attention difficulties had eight people in it, and half of those on the dummy treatment improved too.

That dummy half is the interesting number. It tells you how much improvement can come from attention, hope and being taken seriously, before any…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 10:57One line of research

If something is safe, affordable and it helps you, the fact that the effect may be mostly expectation is not a reason to stop.

The test worth applying is practical: is it safe, can I afford it, is it taking the place of something that works better, and would that money and…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 7:189One line of research

You are not trying to get calm here. You are trying to find out what is actually going on in you, and whatever turns up is the useful part.

If a practice becomes something you can pass or fail, it will quietly join the list of things you are bad at. So drop the target. Ask what you notice…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 39:23One line of research

Find the soft place just under and behind your jaw, near your ears, and rest your fingers there. Then open and close your mouth slowly, slide the jaw forwards and back, and draw your chin gently towards your throat.

Jaws get held all day, often by the same hunched screen posture that pushes the head forward. Go slowly enough that nothing clicks or hurts. You may…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 3:159One line of research

If you carry everything in your neck, that is not a separate problem from feeling on edge. The nerve that settles you passes right between the muscles that are gripping.

The ones you can feel most easily run from behind each ear down towards the collarbone, with more just behind them along the side. Rest a warm hand…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 9:128One line of research

Do not put a clock on any of this. Stay with each position until your body asks for a deeper breath or produces a yawn, then move on.

Timing by the clock turns the practice into another task to be completed. Waiting for a signal teaches you what your own signs of release actually…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 2:187One line of research

After the throat, go straight to the chest. Most people feel the two loosen together, and noticing that link teaches you something about your own wiring.

Sigh the throat open, then put both hands on your breastbone and let the breath drop lower. If you have ever had a lump in your throat and a…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 10:57One line of research

Rest both hands on your chest, feel it lift and fall, and let the breath go low enough that your belly moves too. If someone you love turns up in your mind while you do it, let them stay.

Gratitude works here as well, as long as it is specific and true: one thing from today rather than a list you are supposed to produce. Pets count,…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 30:21One line of research

Hands on your belly, breathe so that it moves, and listen. A gurgle down there is a real sign that you have stopped bracing.

Digestion is one of the first things to shut down when you feel under threat and one of the first to come back when you do not. That is why the noise…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 16:69One line of research

There is a real difference between a practice you add to your treatment and one you use in place of it. Massage, breathing, acupressure and the rest belong in the first group.

Nobody minds you tapping, stretching or seeing an acupuncturist. What matters is that none of it quietly takes the place of the medication, the…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 26:80One line of research

Words for feelings tend to arrive after the body has been noticed, not before. Find the sensation first, then see what it wants to be called.

Try it in that order: tight across the chest, hot in the face, heavy behind the eyes. Then a name, if one comes, and no forcing if it does not.…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 12:84One line of research

Not all of this is a matter of how you say you feel. Breathing, exercise and hands on work shift things that can be measured from outside: heart rhythm, stress hormones, muscle tone.

That matters if you are the kind of person who suspects their own good moods, or if you have to make a case to a colleague who wants numbers. It also…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 39:23One line of research

You choose what to work on and how big a piece of it. A sore shoulder, a low mood, the belief that you are too much: all of them are allowed, and so is starting small.

The useful phrase is whatever is standing in the way of you being all right just now. Some days that is a headache and some days it is the thing you…

Five minutesTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 2:233One line of research