Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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981 practices

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Understand more so that you may fear less. That line is the whole point of learning how your anger works: not cleverness, just less fear.

People with a temper are rarely persuaded by being told to calm down, and are often genuinely interested in how the machinery works. Knowing what…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 16:90One line of research

The aim is not to work out the answer. It is to keep moving while the answer is missing, and to find that the fear does not have to run the day.

When something is unsettled, your mind hands you one job after another: replay it, check it, decide what they really meant. You can put those down…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 3:154One line of research

Learn your signs of too high (racing, panicky) and too low (numb, shut down). Aim for the steady middle.

There is a zone where you can feel and still think. Knowing when you are leaving it is half the skill.

Five minutesYour window of toleranceTrauma informedQur’an 89:27One line of research

When anger floods you, step away before you speak, and come back when your body is calm.

Past a certain heat the body cannot hear reason. Leave, settle, and return.

Five minutesWorking with angerCoreQur’an 25:63One line of research

Do one thing at a time. Finish or park it before you touch the next.

Switching feels productive and is not. Each jump costs you the thread you had just picked up.

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Breathing

Screens and attention

What worry does

Moving your body

Feeling from the inside

What you are actually defending

Feelings and focus

Making it stick

Being seen and judged

Structure and routine

Treatment and medication

Obsessions and compulsions

Remembering to do it

Growing empathy

Breaking the worry loop

Righteous anger and perfectionism

When you use something to cope

Tolerate distress

Self-compassion

Emotions as signals

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Posture and how you carry yourself

Question the thought

When anger turns to harm

Facing it a step at a time

Staying regulated in conflict

Anger, alcohol and the body

Use your strengths

Living with uncertainty

Shared spiritual life

Repair after rupture

The cost of avoiding

Get it out of your head

Knowing your partner

Let the wave come

Rest and pacing

Your worth is not conditional

Face it gently

Letting it out safely

Notice the pattern and flex

Your window of tolerance

Five minutesWork with your brainADHD skillsQur’an 94:7One line of research

A brain that struggles to start or follow through is not a lazy or bad one. Build supports, do not just try harder.

The problem is rarely that you do not care. It is the wiring of follow-through. Design around it.

Five minutesWork with your brainADHD skillsQur’an 64:16One line of research

Three moves, in this order: notice what is happening, settle the body, then put your attention somewhere useful. Short enough to remember when you are already going.

Elaborate plans fall apart at exactly the moment you need them, so it is worth having something this small. Notice covers naming it as anxiety rather…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 2:45One line of research

Slow breathing and loosening your muscles are not decoration. A body that is braced keeps telling the mind there is something to brace for, so unbracing it takes away part of the evidence.

If this sounds like soft advice, try it as a technical one instead: long slow breaths out, shoulders down, jaw unclenched, and give it a few minutes…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 20:130One line of research

Settling the body only goes so far for some people, and there is energy left over afterwards. That leftover needs somewhere to go, or it goes back into the worry.

This matters most if you run hot: the driven ones, the ones who cannot leave a thought alone. You do the breathing, you are still humming, and you…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 11:114One line of research

When two options are both decent, there is no right answer waiting to be found. The work is not in picking. It is in doing well by whichever one you pick.

Bright, anxious people stall for exactly this reason: the options really are close, so no amount of further thinking separates them. Set a time to…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 65:3One line of research

Most decisions are not sealed. Choose, run with it for a set time, then look again and change course if it is clearly wrong. Knowing there is a review date takes a great deal of weight off the choice.

The weight comes from treating the decision as permanent, which almost none of them are. Put an actual date in the diary for the review. That gives…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 18:24One line of research

A hammering heart during anxiety is the body doing what it does when it is braced, not a sign that it is being damaged. For a lot of people that single piece of information is the thing that finally lets the panic drop.

The fear of the sensation is usually the bigger half of the problem: the heart races, you read it as something going badly wrong, and the fear feeds…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 39:42One line of research

Every worry has something you love sitting underneath it. Fear about the exam means you want to do well. Fear about your mother's drive home means she matters to you.

This does not make the worry pleasant, and it is not a trick to make it disappear. What it does is stop the second layer, the part where you are…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 3:191One line of research

Some people never ask for help because they assume everyone's head is like theirs. If yours has been running like this since you were small, it does not feel like a condition. It feels like being you.

It is worth asking someone you trust, plainly, how often they worry about things and for how long. The answer is often surprising. Discovering that a…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 13:28One line of research

Before you go towards the thing you are afraid of, it helps to have two things to hand: a way to settle your body, and a fairer account of what is likely to happen.

Neither of them is meant to take the fear away. They are there so you can stay in the situation long enough for it to teach you something, and that…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 2:153One line of research

Your worth is not your output. A bad day at work does not lower your value as a person.

You are not a scoreboard. Performance rises and falls; your worth is not pinned to it.

Five minutesYour worth is not conditionalDBT skillsQur’an 17:70One line of research

If you went blank or floppy while something terrible was happening, that was your body conserving you. It is the oldest survival setting you have, not a failure of nerve.

This response gets chosen when fighting and running are both off the table, and it is built to spend as little as possible until the danger passes.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:286One line of research

Coming up out of numbness usually feels worse before it feels better. Restlessness, irritation and a jumpy stomach are often the way up rather than a relapse.

The route out of collapse tends to run through activation instead of around it. That is why a short walk, some tidying or an errand often works…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:25One line of research

Safety comes in through three doors: your body, the place you are in, and the people around you. If one is shut, try another.

This matters most when you are on your own and the person you would ring is not there. You can still change the room, open a window, go outside, put…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:22One line of research

Whatever you did in the worst moment, your body chose it faster than thought. You did not decide it and then get it wrong.

The selection happens deep in the brain, in a fraction of a second, before the part of you that weighs options gets a look in. People spend years…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7One line of research