Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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364 practices

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By the time you feel angry, your body has been at it for a few seconds already. Anything that starts with noticing is always starting from behind.

That is not a reason to give up on noticing. It is a reason to have something ready that does not need much noticing to begin. A rehearsed routine,…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 50:39One line of research

When your mouth opens to shout, let the air go out slowly through pursed lips instead. Same body part, different job.

It helps that you are not being asked to do nothing. The mouth is already open and the breath is already moving, so you are redirecting something…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 7:205One line of research

If you feel yourself rising, sit down. It is the smallest instruction in the whole toolkit and often the one that works.

Standing tall with a raised voice tells your own body that a fight is on, and it tells the other person the same thing, so they brace and match you.…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 3:191One line of research

If someone stands up mid argument, stay where you are. Rising with them turns a conversation into a stand off.

Therapists who sit with couples notice that the person on their feet usually sits back down within a minute or two when nobody gets up to meet them.…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 31:19One line of research

Your hand is already halfway there. From a clenched fist, keep the thumb and index finger touching and let the other three fingers open out.

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

It is the same hand doing nearly the same thing, so there is nothing new to learn at the worst possible moment. People often describe a small opening…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 4:103One line of research

Rest your fingertips against one another and let your attention go to the place where they meet. It is a small piece of contact that is always available to you.

Anger sharpens the line between you and everything outside your skin, and everything on the far side of that line starts looking like a threat or an…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 48:4One line of research

An open hand has meant coming unarmed for a very long time. If that meaning does something for you, keep it. If it does not, the gesture still works.

Some people find a practice sticks better when it stands for something they already care about, like refusing to cause harm, or showing up with…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 29:45One line of research

Deliberation has liberation sitting inside it. Cheap as wordplay, but it is the point: the space you take before you act is the freedom you have.

Cues like this earn their keep by being reachable when you are too hot to reason anything out. Tie it to something physical, so the hand position…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 89:27One line of research

The out breath is the part that quiets things down. Cells in the brain's alarm centres behave differently across the two phases of a breath, and breathing out is the calming side of that cycle.

This is why nearly every breathing technique that works has a long exhale somewhere inside it. You do not need the anatomy to use it, but knowing why…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 6:96One line of research

Fear pulls the in breath long. Relief runs the other way and comes out as a sigh, which is your body's own signal that the danger has passed.

Knowing the direction you are aiming in helps. When you are frightened or furious the breath gets pulled in, fast and high in the chest, because the…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 8:11One line of research

The usual advice to take a deep breath can work against you. A big pull of air in rouses the very system you are trying to quiet.

Leave the in breath alone and lengthen only the out breath. Breathe in normally through the nose, let the air out slowly, then repeat without ever…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 89:28One line of research

To make an out breath last longer without a big gulp of air first, make the opening smaller. Purse your lips, or send the air out through your nose.

The same amount of air through a narrower gap takes longer to leave, so you get a long exhale without a dramatic inhale to set it up. It also gives…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 25:48One line of research

You already own this one. Let out a sigh of relief right now, on purpose, and notice that your body knew exactly what to do.

Most people wait for the sigh to arrive by itself at the end of a hard hour. It does not have to be the last thing that happens. Doing one…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 40:61One line of research

Counting to ten asks you to keep track of numbers at the exact moment you cannot keep track of anything. Breathe out slowly instead and let the breath do the delaying.

The count was only ever a way of buying a few seconds, and a long out breath buys the same seconds without needing anything from a mind that has gone…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 13:28One line of research

A sigh opens the chest and drops the guard for a second. That is part of why it feels like relief and part of why the other person softens too.

Anger holds the body braced: shoulders up, chest closed, everything protecting the middle. A sigh undoes some of that, and it is hard to keep the…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 94:1One line of research

Hum. You cannot hum without a long out breath, so the technique makes you do it right whether you are concentrating or not.

Most breathing instructions leave you judging whether your exhale was really slow enough, which is a poor thing to be assessing while you are…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 7:205One line of research

While you hum, put your attention on the tickle in your nose and lips. There is not much room left for the argument once you are following that.

Two things happen in the same breath. The exhale stretches out, which settles the body, and the buzzing gives your attention somewhere plain to sit,…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 30:23One line of research

You may hear that humming floods you with nitric oxide and drops your blood pressure. Humming does raise nitric oxide in the nose. The rest of that sentence is a leap.

It is worth being careful with this, because a practice sold on a dramatic mechanism gets dropped when the mechanism turns out to be shaky. Hum…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 33:41One line of research

Say out breath, not breath. Told to take a signal breath, most people pull air in hard, which stirs them up rather than settling them.

This is a small wording change that decides whether the technique works. Whether you are teaching someone else or reminding yourself, put the phase…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 6:96One line of research

In a hostile exchange, try a slow hmm instead of a reply. It sounds like someone thinking, and it puts a long out breath in the way of whatever you were about to say.

The sound we make when we are unsure is already in everyone's repertoire, and it reads as puzzlement rather than as a threat, so the other person has…

A minuteCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 50:39One line of research