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Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Anger can feel good for a moment, righteous and awake and clear. That warm rush is exactly why it is hard to interrupt at the only point where interrupting works.
If you wait until you feel like stopping, you will not stop, because in the first seconds the anger feels like the correct response rather than a…
The threat system fires in under a second, and conscious oversight needs two or three. A time-out is not a clever technique, it is just a way of surviving that gap.
Decide now what you will do with those seconds, because you will not invent it on the spot. Mouth closed, feet still, one slow breath out, or a plain…
Give the alarm system a name. Saying "that is my alarm going off, not my judgement" puts a little air between you and the reaction.
Some people use an actual name, others just say "the old alarm" or "threat system". It sounds childish until you try it with your chest thumping, and…
In the heat of it there is no middle ground on offer. Asking yourself to see the grey areas mid argument is asking for something your mind is not running just then.
Extremity is the point of the system: anything built to survive a serious threat cannot stop to weigh probabilities. So when you notice you have gone…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.
Talking yourself out of anger while it is peaking rarely works. Noticing that a thought is happening costs far less than winning an argument with it.
The reasonable voice is quiet exactly when the alarm is loud, so debating yourself tends to end with you losing to yourself and feeling worse for it.…