Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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69 practices

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Not all distraction comes from outside. Some of it is a thought that will not leave, circling while you read the same paragraph four times.

That difference matters at an assessment. Being pulled away by everything in the room, and being held in place by an intrusive thought you cannot put…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 50:16One line of research

Eating that runs away from you, and eating you cannot stop once it has started, turn up alongside ADHD more than people expect. Usually it is doing a job rather than proving a weakness.

The pattern leans towards bingeing rather than restricting, which fits: it belongs with the difficulty of stopping something already in motion. Often…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 12:53One line of research

Trouble with eating, and with how your body looks, gets missed far more often in men. The questionnaires and the expectations behind them were built around women.

In men it runs more towards size and muscle than towards thinness, and towards fixing on one part of the body that everybody else says looks…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 17:70One line of research

Strategies for ADHD are visible. A timer on the table, a list on the wall, an alarm going off in a meeting. If someone has not yet made peace with having ADHD, each of those is an announcement, and it will quietly get dropped.

So ask, before handing over another tool: how do you feel about the diagnosis itself? Sometimes the honest answer is that they still half hope it was…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skills

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Staying regulated in conflict

Choosing your response

Your nervous system

Being seen and judged

The cost of avoiding

Rebuild trust

Qur’an 12:53

One line of research

If you cannot remember much about being six, you are in the majority. Early childhood comes back poorly for most adults, while the teenage years are far easier to describe.

So do not sit in an assessment feeling you have failed a test because the early years are a blur. Bring what you can find instead: old school…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286One line of research

A list of symptoms on its own does not make a diagnosis. What counts is that they cost you something real in at least two areas of ordinary life.

That means work or school, money, home, friendships, driving, getting through the week. Almost everyone loses keys and drifts off in meetings, so the…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 24:61One line of research

Much of the symptom wording was written with children in mind. If a question sounds like it is about someone climbing the furniture, translate it into your adult life rather than answering no.

Restlessness at forty is rarely running about. It is being unable to sit through a film, the leg going under the table, two jobs left out of boredom.…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 91:8One line of research

If someone is about to send off a saliva kit to fill in the family history they never had, have a conversation first. These tests hand back more than health information, and they hand it back with nobody in the room.

A father who is not the father, a sibling nobody mentioned, a donor conception no one planned to explain: these arrive by email on an ordinary…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 42:38One line of research

Say it plainly whenever you teach anything: the way I am showing you this is not the way it has to be done. Change it until it works for you.

Anyone who has failed at the standard version of something several times will not try again unless they are told clearly that adapting it is allowed.…

A minuteGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 65:7Long taught, never tested

Offer any movement in three sizes: small, medium and full. Let people take the one that fits today, and let them change their mind halfway through.

For a twist that might be a simple reach, or a reach with the other hand placed behind, or loose swinging arms. The three sizes do quiet work. They…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 65:7Long taught, never tested

Start with a couple of minutes of movement before any of the difficult talking. Not a warm up for its own sake: a body that has moved is easier to think in.

Two or three minutes is enough. Roll the shoulders, round and lengthen the spine, turn gently side to side. It also says something without anyone…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 8:11Long taught, never tested

To someone in grief, a short gentle word beats advice or fixing. Say something kind, and mean it.

You do not need to solve their loss. A soft, sincere word lands better than any counsel.

A minuteHelp someone grievingGriefQur’an 2:263One line of research

With someone grieving, offer your presence more than your words. Sit with them; let silence be enough.

You do not need the right thing to say. Being there, quietly and again and again, is the help.

Five minutesHelp someone grievingGriefQur’an 90:17One line of research

A kind, clear no is a full answer. You can decline without a long defence.

You do not owe a case file for every no. Warm, brief, and firm is enough.

A minuteHold a boundaryDBT skillsQur’an 7:199One line of research

Every yes you do not mean spends a yes you do. Guard what you commit to.

Saying yes to everything is a slow way of letting yourself down. Protect your real priorities.

A minuteHold a boundaryDBT skillsQur’an 2:195One line of research

Four things carry most of the difference within the class: how much it sedates, how much it activates, what it does to weight, and what it does to sex.

Before anything is chosen, write down which of the four you cannot live with. Almost nobody is neutral about all four, and the one you will not…

Five minutesWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:7One line of research

If a treatment reliably produces strange sensations, describe them beforehand. Expected strangeness is far easier to sit through than strangeness that arrives unannounced.

With esketamine, feeling oddly detached from your body or the room is the drug doing what it does, not a sign of harm, and it usually clears within a…

Five minutesWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 6:125One line of research

When a treatment is offered, it is fair to ask whether it is the licensed version or a use that sits outside the licence, and what monitoring comes with it.

Ketamine for depression is the live example. The doses used are far below anaesthetic ones, the nasal form has approval for treatment resistant…

Five minutesWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 26:80One line of research

A few treatments are only given in a clinic, with someone sitting with you afterwards. The chair and the hours are part of the treatment rather than paperwork.

Esketamine is the current example. It is a nasal spray, given on site, with a monitoring period of about two hours afterwards because blood pressure,…

LongerWhen everything feels flatMedical and treatmentQur’an 94:1One line of research

Stimulants are not the only licensed route. Atomoxetine, guanfacine and clonidine all hold approval for attention difficulties, and they matter when a stimulant cannot be used.

They usually sit after stimulants rather than beside them, because the comparative evidence still favours stimulants overall. They come into their…

Five minutesMedication and how it worksMedical and treatmentQur’an 73:20One line of research