Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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19 practices

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Before picking a calming technique, work out which way you are off. Revved up and shut down need opposite things.

Wound up: slow the out breath, lower the lights, less input. Shut down: more input, movement, sound, a change of room. The common mistake is running…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 3:191One line of research

Calm can feel unsafe if you have not had much of it. Take it in small amounts and let it be strange at first.

Grounding exercises sometimes leave people more agitated rather than less, and then they decide they are doing it wrong. Often the truth is that…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 48:4One line of research

When you are far from settled, aim for the next step rather than for calm. Rattled is a real improvement on numb.

There is a rough order to these states: shut down at the bottom, revved up in the middle, settled and connected at the top. Coming back tends to…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:25One line of research

Try locking your ankle and holding everything rigid while you balance. You will fall over. The wobble was doing the work.

People who are frightened of losing control often try to hold themselves regulated: clamped, monitoring, allowing no drift. It is exhausting and it…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28One line of research

Breath reaches the settling machinery faster than reasoning does, because it works on a part of the brainstem that does not wait for your opinion.

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Affection and touch

Shame

Breaking the worry loop

Question the thought

Treatment and medication

When everything feels flat

What you are actually defending

Knowing your partner

Food, caffeine and fuel

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Letting it out safely

Posture and how you carry yourself

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Screens and attention

Exercise, food and other supports

Obsessions and compulsions

Name what you feel

Calm the body

Facing it a step at a time

Listening and understanding

Working with anger

Let the wave come

The cost of avoiding

Being seen and judged

Safety and grounding

When you use something to cope

When anger turns to harm

Shared spiritual life

Anger, alcohol and the body

Care for yourself in loss

Structure and routine

Treatment and medication

Validate yourself and others

What ADHD actually is

Your window of tolerance

That is why arguing yourself out of a panic rarely works while six slow breaths often do something. It also explains why breath practice can feel…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 50:16One line of research

Hum a note you like for a few breaths, and try covering your ears with your palms so the sound fills your head.

The vibration carries through your throat and your inner ear, and humming lengthens the out breath for you without any counting. Choose your own note…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205One line of research

Breathe in, then push the air out gently against a closed throat, or against lightly pinched nostrils, for a couple of seconds.

The change of pressure in your chest is what does the work, and two or three rounds are enough to notice something. Keep it gentle. Straining is…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:1One line of research

Cold water on your face, particularly at the hairline and around the lips, sets off a reflex that slows the heart. It is one of the few things fast enough to interrupt real panic.

A splash at the sink, a few minutes outside in cold air, or a bowl of cold water if you have one to hand. There is a quieter version for when you…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:46One line of research

Coming up out of numbness usually feels worse before it feels better. Restlessness, irritation and a jumpy stomach are often the way up rather than a relapse.

The route out of collapse tends to run through activation instead of around it. That is why a short walk, some tidying or an errand often works…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 20:25One line of research

Reaching for another person when you are wound up is not a distraction from coping. Contact can turn the alarm down at the source.

This is why a short call, a message to someone who knows you, or sitting in the same room as family is worth doing before you get as far as the…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28One line of research

Safety comes in through three doors: your body, the place you are in, and the people around you. If one is shut, try another.

This matters most when you are on your own and the person you would ring is not there. You can still change the room, open a window, go outside, put…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:22One line of research

If your usual trouble is a racing heart, a crowded head and never quite coming down, slow paced breathing with a feedback device is the one to try first.

Part of the appeal is that you can watch it work. Five or ten minutes of breathing at the pace the app sets, with the trace on the screen smoothing…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 106:4One line of research

A stress response is built to finish. The rush comes up, you do something with it, and then it drains away and you are back to yourself.

The trouble is that the doing something rarely happens, because you cannot run or shout in the middle of a meeting. The aim is not to stop the surge.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:2One line of research

Thinking about a feeling tends to slow it down. Feeling it in your body tends to speed it up. Between those two you have a throttle.

When someone is flooded, moving to words, naming and a little distance brings it down. When someone is flat and describing their week from behind…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 73:6One line of research

The tools that slow things down mostly use your head: naming what is happening, standing back a little, putting the distress at arm's length for now.

Explaining to yourself what your body is doing. Watching a thought rather than arguing with it. Asking whether the worst reading is the only reading.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 39:42One line of research

The tools that reach what words cannot are physical: feet on the floor, a long breath out, pushing hard against a wall, deliberately walking away from something.

Some of what happened is held below language, which is why the most articulate account of it can leave you unchanged. Movement that finishes…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 76:2One line of research

Wanting sugar, salt and something sharp at the end of a punishing week is physiology talking, not a defect in your character.

Long stretches of high stress come with real bodily consequences, and a shifted appetite is one of the visible ones. Fighting the craving head on…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 106:4One line of research

When you cannot settle yourself, borrow somebody else's steadiness. Sitting near a calm person, even without talking, is a real thing to try.

Choose by effect rather than by closeness. Some people you love leave you more wound up than you started, and some people you barely know are easy to…

Twenty minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:248One line of research

If you mostly run hot and jumpy, start with slow paced breathing. If you mostly go blank and far away, work that reaches you through sound and voice tends to get further.

The idea is to pick the tool that pulls against your usual tilt. Breathing practice puts the brake back on a system that has lost it. Sound and voice…

Twenty minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 23:78One line of research