Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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94 practices

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Thinking about a feeling tends to slow it down. Feeling it in your body tends to speed it up. Between those two you have a throttle.

When someone is flooded, moving to words, naming and a little distance brings it down. When someone is flat and describing their week from behind…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 73:6One line of research

The tools that slow things down mostly use your head: naming what is happening, standing back a little, putting the distress at arm's length for now.

Explaining to yourself what your body is doing. Watching a thought rather than arguing with it. Asking whether the worst reading is the only reading.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 39:42One line of research

The tools that reach what words cannot are physical: feet on the floor, a long breath out, pushing hard against a wall, deliberately walking away from something.

Some of what happened is held below language, which is why the most articulate account of it can leave you unchanged. Movement that finishes…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 76:2One line of research

Long stress does not have one look. Some people end up permanently switched on. Others end up flat, heavy and hopeless. The two need opposite things.

If you are the switched on kind, the work is coming down: a longer breath out, less caffeine, a real end to the working day. If you are the flattened…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 30:23One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Breaking the worry loop

Remembering to do it

What you are actually defending

Making it stick

Facing it a step at a time

When you use something to cope

Tolerate distress

Growing empathy

Choosing your response

When everything feels flat

When anger turns to harm

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Self-compassion

Shame

Anger, alcohol and the body

Emotions as signals

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Use your strengths

Practising under provocation

Obsessions and compulsions

Being seen and judged

Touch and bodywork

Letting it out safely

Feeling from the inside

Help someone grieving

Rest and pacing

Question the thought

Living with uncertainty

The stress hormone that carries you through a hard month also quietens your immune system while it is high. When it drops, the immune side comes back up.

That is the plain version of a relationship usually summed up as stress making you ill, which is too blunt to be much use. Running high and running…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 32:9One line of research

Getting ill the week after the exams, the deadline or the funeral is not bad luck. It is the pattern.

You hold together through the push, and the moment it stops you are in bed with something. Often it was already brewing while you were still going.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 94:2One line of research

Wanting sugar, salt and something sharp at the end of a punishing week is physiology talking, not a defect in your character.

Long stretches of high stress come with real bodily consequences, and a shifted appetite is one of the visible ones. Fighting the craving head on…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 106:4One line of research

Long histories of unresolved stress show up in bodies: inflammation, gut trouble, broken sleep, conditions that end up labelled unexplained. Being told it is all in your head is both wrong and useless.

There is a well known overlap between hard early lives and diagnoses such as fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and several autoimmune conditions. Overlap…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 94:3One line of research

An immune system that stays switched on with nothing to fight can begin turning on healthy tissue. It is doing its job with the wrong target.

That is a kinder account than the ones people are usually handed, which tend to imply they brought it on themselves by not coping. None of this is…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 20:46One line of research

Digestion runs on the resting side of your nervous system, which is one reason long stress and gut trouble travel together so often.

People with reflux, irritable bowels or years of unexplained stomach pain are often told the two things are unrelated, or that it is stress in the…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:22One line of research

Heart rate variability is not about how fast your heart beats. It is about how much the gaps between the beats vary as you breathe.

People often assume a slow heart rate must mean a healthy one. You can have a perfectly normal rate with a rigid, unvarying rhythm, and the rigidity…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 6:96One line of research

A better definition of resilience than never being knocked over: how quickly you come back once you have been.

It is kinder and it is more accurate. Nobody is judged on whether the alarm went off. What tells you something is whether you are still shaking two…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 91:7One line of research

The unsettled pattern is not simply a smaller rhythm. It is a jagged one, swinging up and down without much order to it.

Which matches how it feels from inside: fine at eleven, flooded by half past, flat by two. If that is you, the aim is not to iron the swings out into…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28One line of research

If you want to breathe more slowly, add one count at a time over weeks. Four in and four out this month, five next month, and no hurry after that.

Very slow breathing can bring on air hunger, that feeling of not getting enough, and for some people it tips straight into panic. Good reason to…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:286One line of research

The point of all this is not that your heart never pounds. It is that when a car pulls out in front of you, you are back to yourself in a minute instead of an hour.

People who take permanent calm to be the goal end up reading every jolt of adrenaline as proof they are still broken. That is a miserable way to live…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 78:9One line of research

Yoga, breath practice, loving kindness, gratitude, forgiveness work, tapping, rubbing your own shoulders: they all seem to move the same dial. Choose whichever one you will actually keep doing.

It is a strangely mixed list, and the mix is the point. If practices that look nothing alike arrive at similar places, then the argument about which…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 33:41One line of research

Some routes ask you to do something: breathing, moving, stretching. Others ask you to receive: music, warm water, somebody else's voice. Keep one of each, because which one you can manage depends on the day.

When you are shut down and heavy, an active practice can be more than you are able to start. When you are wired and watchful, lying still while…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 28:73One line of research

When somebody tells you a practice will calm you, treat that as a hypothesis about you rather than a fact. Try it and watch what actually happens.

Promised effects set people up to fail. When the promised calm does not turn up, the usual conclusion is that their body is broken, rather than that…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:260One line of research

When you cannot settle yourself, borrow somebody else's steadiness. Sitting near a calm person, even without talking, is a real thing to try.

Choose by effect rather than by closeness. Some people you love leave you more wound up than you started, and some people you barely know are easy to…

Twenty minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:248One line of research

Connection settles people, but the right amount of it varies enormously. Some settle with a house full of family and some with one person and no talking at all.

If closeness costs you something, plan around that rather than pushing through. Shorter visits, sitting side by side instead of face to face, a walk…

Twenty minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:260One line of research