Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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874 practices

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Writing down what happened puts a little distance between you and it. Later you are not inside the row any more, you are a person reading about one.

Two things come out of a few weeks of this. You get data: the same time of day, the same person, the same bad night behind it. And you get practice…

Five minutesThe moment before you snapCBTQur’an 7:201One line of research

If waiting has always been hard for you, and your attention has always been restless, that belongs in the anger picture rather than in a separate story.

Irritability, reactivity and a mind that will not settle often arrive as a set. Working on the anger while ignoring the attention leaves the ground…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 2:268One line of research

Most of us rehearse the crushing line we wish we had said. Try spending that same time writing what you would actually like to say next time, and keep it short enough to remember.

Take one real episode from the past week and write two things: what happened, and one sentence you would rather have used. Something like I am…

Twenty minutesThe moment before you snapCBTQur’an 41:34One line of research

Wise mind is not a calmer version of you. It is the state where what you feel and what you have thought through are both in the room, and neither has thrown the other out.

In practice it means you can feel the heat in your chest and still choose the next sentence. Neither half is the enemy: pure logic talks you out of…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 12:18

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

The moment before you snap

Food, caffeine and fuel

Choosing your response

When you use something to cope

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Growing empathy

When anger turns to harm

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Making it stick

When everything feels flat

Self-compassion

Emotions as signals

Facing it a step at a time

Anger, alcohol and the body

Tolerate distress

Use your strengths

Getting assessed and diagnosed

Obsessions and compulsions

Being seen and judged

Touch and bodywork

Help someone grieving

Shame

Rest and pacing

Question the thought

Practising under provocation

One line of research

Before telling someone what you have noticed about them, ask whether they want it. Do you mind if I offer something back to you? Then describe only what you saw, plainly.

Close attention is not neutral for a person who grew up being watched for a reason. Asking first turns being observed into something they agreed to,…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 52:48One line of research

Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.

For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:214One line of research

A calming skill handed over at the wrong moment reads as your anger is not welcome here. For someone taught as a child that their anger was unacceptable, that is the old prohibition arriving again in kinder clothes.

Let the anger be seen first. Say that it makes sense, that there is a reason for it, and only then offer anything that settles the body. The order…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 2:45One line of research

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10One line of research

When the person in front of you starts yawning during body work, it is usually not boredom. Bodies yawn as they let go of what they were holding.

Say so out loud, because most people apologise for it and then clamp down on the very thing that was starting to shift. A simple 'that is a good…

A minuteTouch and bodyworkBody basedQur’an 19:24One line of research

Regular massage has been studied with restless, distractible children and teenagers, and their teachers noticed the difference in class as well as the young people noticing it in themselves.

The pattern in these studies is modest and repeated: short sessions, twice a week, over several weeks, with mood and behaviour improving rather than…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 17:24One line of research

In placebo studies, people improve even when they have been told outright that the pill is inert. They also usually spend half an hour talking with someone who is paying attention.

That half hour is easy to dismiss as a detail of the study design, and it may be most of the treatment. Which is oddly encouraging: careful listening…

Twenty minutesTouch and bodyworkMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:263One line of research

A lot of what people now know about ADHD came from a video. Some of it is genuinely good, some of it is not, and asking someone what they have been watching is a fair question to open with.

Creators who live with ADHD have done real good here. They have made people feel recognised and made asking for help less frightening, and some…

A minuteTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 21:7One line of research

Most children with ADHD can tell you exactly what they should have done. The knowing was never the missing piece, which is why a course teaching the knowing changes so little.

Watch closely and you see the skill appear in quiet moments and vanish in loud ones, when another child has already grabbed the ball and there is…

A minuteTreatment and medicationCoreQur’an 9:105One line of research

Better usually means smaller, rarer, or shorter. Pick something you can count, like losing your keys twice a week instead of every day.

Vague goals cannot be reviewed, so a few months later nobody can say whether anything changed and you are left going on mood alone. Choose two or…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:3One line of research

You are going to look things up anyway, so start somewhere with proper review behind it. CHADD and Understood both have professionals checking what goes on the page.

Telling anyone to stop searching online has never worked and only means they search without saying so. Better to hand over two or three places worth…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 16:43One line of research

Brain training and therapeutic games raise one question above all others. Does the improvement show up anywhere except inside the game, and does it last once you stop playing?

People do get better at what they practise, and the scores go up, which makes for a persuasive chart on a website. The harder question is whether…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 13:11One line of research

Supplements are not checked before they go on sale, so what is in the bottle may not match the label. Look for a third party mark such as USP or NSF before you buy.

This is not about whether a given supplement helps. It is about the plainer question of whether you are getting the dose written on the front, since…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:195One line of research

Two things happening together is not one causing the other. Learn that once and you have a reply to most of the claims you will meet.

Children with ADHD may use more screens, and screens may not be the reason. The same shape turns up with sugar, with additives, with organic food and…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 17:36One line of research

Long acting does not automatically suit everybody. Some people genuinely do better on shorter doses, and it is worth saying so rather than assuming the newer option must be right.

There is a folk belief that a person's own chemistry takes over in the afternoon once the medicine wears off, and the research does not support it.…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 65:3One line of research

What a person expects from a treatment genuinely changes what they get from it. That is not a trick to be exploited, and it is not nothing either.

In some trials the dummy treatment helps around half the people who receive it, and there is work showing benefit even when people were told outright…

Five minutesTreatment and medicationMedical and treatmentQur’an 10:57One line of research