Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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342 practices

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When obsessions start early and dig in deep, ask gently what anxiety looks like elsewhere in the family. Often there is an undiagnosed parent, and often that parent is helping in ways that keep the whole thing running.

None of this is about blame. A parent who checks the locks for their child, answers the same question fifteen times, or arranges the evening around a…

Twenty minutesObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 114:6One line of research

If the urge to arrange has to go somewhere, point it at something that can actually be finished. A kitchen drawer ends. A desk you keep re-sorting never does.

The ending is the part that matters. Finishing leaves you with something real to have done, which competes with the small relief that compulsive…

Twenty minutesObsessions and compulsionsCBTQur’an 7:31One line of research

Headsets have become cheap enough to sit in an ordinary consulting room, and the use with the best backing is graded exposure. You can set the intensity exactly and repeat it as often as the person needs.

The value is in the control. A feared situation can be dialled up in small steps, run again the moment it stops being frightening, and ended without…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supportsMedical and treatmentQur’an 73:20One line of research

If you are thinking about a weighted blanket or vest for a child, let an occupational therapist set the weight. It is a specific number for a specific body, not something to guess at in a shop.

The pull to order one straight away is understandable, especially after months of bad nights. What an OT does is match the weight to the child's size…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supports

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Breathing

Tolerate distress

The moment before you snap

The fear underneath anger

When you use something to cope

When everything feels flat

Facing it a step at a time

When anger turns to harm

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Shame and stigma

Being seen and judged

Emotions as signals

Remembering to do it

Use your strengths

Structure and routine

Growing empathy

Practising under provocation

Knowing your partner

Rituals of connection

Obsessions and compulsions

Shame

Repair after rupture

Rebuilding trust

Posture and how you carry yourself

What worry does

Making it stick

Feeling from the inside

Equanimity and perspective

Cool the body first

Choosing your response

Anger, alcohol and the body

Rest and pacing

Answering bids

What you are actually defending

Care for yourself in loss

Safety and grounding

Treatment and medication

Living with uncertainty

Keep the bond

Listen to the body

Question the thought

Medical and treatment

Qur’an 55:8

One line of research

With some sensory routines, the part doing the work may be a parent's steady hands and full attention rather than the technique itself. Worth knowing, because contact carries into the rest of the day and a protocol does not.

Views differ on this and the research has not sorted it out. What follows practically is that a family who cannot keep the exact routine going has…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supportsMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:185One line of research

When a test trips a child on something it was never meant to measure, change how they answer rather than what is asked. A spelling test spoken aloud is still a spelling test.

One girl saw letters as solid three dimensional shapes that would not sit together on a page, so writing them was a perceptual problem rather than a…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supportsMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:286One line of research

If you are going to take supplements, it is worth paying a small subscription to a service that assays what is actually in them. ConsumerLab is one, at roughly sixty dollars a year.

The thing to check about any such service is who funds it, because a tester paid by manufacturers is a marketing department with a laboratory…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supportsMedical and treatmentQur’an 2:247One line of research

Ask for photographs of every bottle rather than a list from memory, then pass that list to the prescriber. Recall is patchy about names and hopeless about doses.

Intake forms catch some of it and a photo of the shelf catches the rest, including the two things nobody mentions because they seem too minor to…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supportsMedical and treatmentQur’an 6:141One line of research

When omega levels are low, everything about ADHD tends to get louder: attention, mood swings, holding things in mind. Low omega does not cause ADHD, but it can be sitting on top of it.

Think of it as one more layer to lift off rather than the thing underneath. Specialist labs can measure levels if it seems worth checking, and…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supportsMedical and treatmentQur’an 23:21One line of research

One woman's ADHD symptoms climbed and her thinking slowed as each B12 injection wore off, then settled again after the next one. The deficiency came down one side of her family and the ADHD down the other.

The two lived in the same person without either causing the other. What made it findable was the timing, because difficulties that follow a cycle are…

Twenty minutesExercise, food and other supportsMedical and treatmentQur’an 23:21One line of research

Calm is only half the training. Plenty of people are more frightened of stillness than of adrenaline, because stillness puts the guard down.

If everything you practise is a settling practice, half the range goes untrained, and you may be asking someone to drop a defence they still need. So…

Twenty minutesPosture and how you carry yourselfBody basedQur’an 25:64One line of research

Play belongs here. Being a lion, a tree, a hissing snake, the way children do it with no embarrassment at all.

A lot of people meet trauma work as something solemn, and solemn is easy to sit through without ever softening. Silliness is harder to fake. If a…

Twenty minutesPosture and how you carry yourselfBody basedQur’an 22:27One line of research

Steadiness under provocation is built the way immunity is, in small doses taken on purpose, at a size you can still handle. Waiting for a real fight to test yourself is too big a dose to learn anything from.

In practice that means choosing something that stings a little and staying with it rather than swerving: the colleague whose tone you brace against,…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:35One line of research

What you are proudest of will tell you where you are most easily wounded. The two grow on the same root.

Write down two or three things you would hate to be thought about you, then look at where they meet your ordinary week. Who is likely to imply it, in…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 3:200One line of research

Go to the gym without the getting ready. No mirror check, no fixing your hair, just train and come home.

This works because it lands exactly where many people quietly keep their worth, and because the real consequences are nil. Nobody there is thinking…

Twenty minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 22:35One line of research

A belief about yourself comes with a feeling somewhere in the body, an emotion, and a set of things you then do or avoid. Argue only with the words and the rest of it carries on exactly as before.

This is the gap behind I know it is not true but I do not feel it. Next time you catch the belief, note where it sits physically, what emotion turned…

Twenty minutesQuestion the thoughtCBTQur’an 3:191One line of research

Atonement is not only apology; it is changed behavior over time. Let your actions become the apology.

Words open the door; sustained new behavior walks through it. Trust returns through consistency, not speeches.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 25:70One line of research

Let the hurt partner set the pace of healing. It takes as long as it takes; there is no rushing trust back.

You cannot demand that trust return on a schedule. Honor the injured partner's timeline without pressure.

Twenty minutesRebuilding trustGottmanQur’an 2:286One line of research

Take one of the gaps you already have, the commute or the walk or the shower, and use it to ask what is coming up this week and what might be slipping. No new tool, no new app, just the question.

That turns something accidental into something you can count on. It works best in the same place each time, so that the place starts asking the…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 24:37One line of research

Anything that comes round every month should be leaving your account without you. Direct debits and standing orders take the remembering out of the job altogether, which beats any reminder you could set.

It is worth an afternoon. List what recurs, automate what can be automated, and put one calendar note to check the statement each month instead of…

Twenty minutesRemembering to do itADHD skillsQur’an 23:8One line of research