Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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1725 practices

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A report due Friday puts a little pressure on somebody else's Monday. For you Monday feels like nothing at all, and then Thursday evening arrives carrying the whole of it.

It is worth drawing out honestly. One line sloping gently upwards all week, another staying flat and then going vertical. Once the shape is visible…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 87:17One line of research

If the only real deadline is the fortnightly meeting, invent some smaller ones. A couple of short catch-ups a week will do more for the work than the formal review ever does.

Ask for them as something that helps you, because it is true and it also lands better: five minutes on Tuesday and Thursday keeps me pointed at the…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 84:19One line of research

Whatever the record is, do it the same day, every time. The salesman writes his notes in the car outside the client's office. Not that evening, not on Friday.

No exceptions is the part doing the work. One skipped day teaches you that skipping is survivable, and 'it worked out fine that once' is the thought…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 12:47One line of research

No single strategy fits every situation. When something that worked last year does nothing now, the fault is usually in the match rather than in you.

For anyone helping, this matters even more. When a sensible technique fails, the first question is which part of this person's week it did not fit,…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:148One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Structure and routine

Knowing your partner

Food, caffeine and fuel

Answering bids

What worry does

Practising under provocation

Cool the body first

Emotions as signals

Treatment and medication

What you are actually defending

Breathing

Repair after rupture

Making it stick

Being seen and judged

Rebuilding trust

Shared spiritual life

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Affection and touch

Fondness and admiration

Breaking the worry loop

Shame and stigma

Remembering to do it

Listening and understanding

Rituals of connection

Feeling from the inside

When anger turns to harm

When you use something to cope

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Tolerate distress

Facing it a step at a time

Gratitude

Use your strengths

Self-compassion

Anger, alcohol and the body

Obsessions and compulsions

Question the thought

Safety and grounding

Meaning after harm

Posture and how you carry yourself

Act on your values

Your worth is not conditional

Panic and the body

Notice the pattern and flex

Validate yourself and others

Help someone grieving

Patience and trust

Hold a boundary

Keep the bond

Care for yourself in loss

Rest and pacing

Your window of tolerance

Get it out of your head

Living with uncertainty

When you go numb

There are two ways to make something get noticed: make it louder, or quieten everything around it. The second is usually the one nobody has tried.

It applies to a desk and to a phone screen alike. Adding one more reminder into a busy field mostly adds to the field. Taking six things off the desk…

Twenty minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 20:131One line of research

Say the plan out loud to somebody. A manager, a colleague, your wife, a coach. Hearing yourself explain it does something that turning it over privately does not.

The listener does not need to be an expert in any of it. Talking forces you to put things in order, and the gaps tend to announce themselves halfway…

Twenty minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:148One line of research

Mindfulness practice is good for most people, and may help a little more if you have ADHD. Treat it as something supportive rather than as the treatment itself.

The honest version is worth having, because being told it is the answer and then finding it is not tends to end with people dropping it entirely. If…

Twenty minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 99:7One line of research

Once a week, both calendars open on the table. Who is doing scouts, who has football, what is happening on Thursday. Twice a week if the house is busy.

The point is finding the collisions while there is still time to sort them out, rather than at eight on Thursday morning with coats half on. Keep it…

Twenty minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 12:48One line of research

When the thing is over, sit down for twenty minutes and go through it: what happened, what worked, what did not, what you will do differently. Put it in the diary, because it never happens on intention alone.

The monthly report, the school year, the audit. Write the answers where you will actually find them next time, and be specific about the point it…

Twenty minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 9:105One line of research

Overwhelmed? Take two minutes: breathe out slowly, longer than you breathe in, and let the body lead.

You cannot think your way calm mid-storm, but you can breathe your way there. Slow exhales, then decide.

A minuteCalm the bodyMindfulnessQur’an 2:45One line of research

When emotion spikes hard, splash cold water on your face or hold something cold for a slow count.

A jolt of cold gives the racing body something concrete to settle around. Simple, and it works.

A minuteCalm the bodyMindfulnessQur’an 8:11One line of research

Scan your body, unclench the jaw, drop the shoulders, soften the hands. Let the tension out on each breath.

Emotion tightens the body; the body can loosen the emotion back. Release the grip one part at a time.

Five minutesCalm the bodyMindfulnessQur’an 89:27One line of research

On the heaviest day, trust you are not given more than you can carry, and do just the next small thing.

You do not have to carry the whole weight at once. One small act, then the next, is enough.

A minuteCare for yourself in lossGriefQur’an 2:286One line of research

Grief is tiring. Let yourself rest and return to small routines; this is not giving up on them.

Stepping back to eat, sleep, and do ordinary things is part of grieving, not a betrayal of it.

Twenty minutesCare for yourself in lossGriefQur’an 25:47One line of research

Your mind sorts fast and rough. It matches what is happening now against something it has met before, and in a bad moment it rounds a raised eyebrow up to contempt.

Most rows start with a misreading rather than with faulty reasoning, which is why picking your conclusions apart afterwards changes so little. The…

A minuteChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 3:186One line of research

Volume gets heard as aggression even when it is only urgency. Someone raising their voice is often just trying to be heard.

It runs in both directions. When you push your own volume up to make a point land, what arrives at the other person is an attack, and they answer the…

A minuteChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 17:53One line of research

Before you decide someone is having a go at you, go looking for the boring physical explanation. A good deal of the time it is right there.

Ears blocked by headphones, a phone about to die, somebody who has not eaten since breakfast. Make the alternative concrete, because a vague thought…

A minuteChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 15:85One line of research

Do not only correct the thought, correct the sentence. Rather than do not shout at me, try can you take those off, I want to talk to you.

Telling yourself to stay calm gives you nothing to do, and the ready-made sharp line is still the only thing in your mouth. A plain request gives all…

A minuteChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 33:70One line of research

Picture a machine set to strike at anything that even slightly resembles a threat. It would hit the postman, the neighbour's dog and, sooner or later, a child in a muddy coat.

A low threshold feels like safety and is not. Every false alarm costs you something, and since the people nearest the sensor are the ones you live…

A minuteChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 64:14One line of research

Not taking things personally is a question rather than a personality. The question is short: was that aimed at me, or was I simply standing there?

A lot of what lands on you was already travelling. The bad mood was made at work, or three years ago, or by whoever spoke to them just before you…

A minuteChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 28:55One line of research