Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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120 practices

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If your usual trouble is a racing heart, a crowded head and never quite coming down, slow paced breathing with a feedback device is the one to try first.

Part of the appeal is that you can watch it work. Five or ten minutes of breathing at the pace the app sets, with the trace on the screen smoothing…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 106:4One line of research

Rest your attention in the middle of your chest, let your breath slow as though it were moving in and out through there, and bring to mind something you feel warmly about.

A hand on your chest can help you find the place. The feeling does not have to be big: gratitude for something small, or the ordinary fondness you…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 13:28One line of research

Slow breathing on its own does less than slow breathing with a warm feeling attached and something showing you how you are doing.

That is the difference between the deep breathing most people have tried and found underwhelming, and this. The feedback matters because otherwise…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:152One line of research

If you try to call up a good feeling and nothing arrives, you are in ordinary company. That blankness is common after a long stretch of hard years, and it is workable.

It helps to do this part with someone else at first, because another person will notice the flicker you dismissed. Look for what is reliably there…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 28:73One line of research

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.

Shame and stigma

What worry does

Reading, numbers and learning differences

Making it stick

Treatment and medication

Emotions as signals

Being seen and judged

Tolerate distress

Remembering to do it

Knowing your partner

Feeling from the inside

Answering bids

Breaking the worry loop

When you use something to cope

What you are actually defending

Facing it a step at a time

Shame

Repair after rupture

Obsessions and compulsions

Righteous anger and perfectionism

Shared spiritual life

Rebuilding trust

Fondness and admiration

Affection and touch

When anger turns to harm

Rituals of connection

Posture and how you carry yourself

Listening and understanding

Anger, alcohol and the body

When you go numb

Living with uncertainty

Rest and pacing

Panic and the body

Safety and grounding

Letting it out safely

Your worth is not conditional

Calm the body

Notice the pattern and flex

Act on your values

Find meaning

Face it gently

Care for yourself in loss

Ask and say no well

Hold a boundary

Patience and trust

Validate yourself and others

Your window of tolerance

Help someone grieving

Get it out of your head

Keep the explanation short when you offer this to someone. It is a way of breathing that gets your heart to send your brain a message to settle. Would you like to try it?

Long technical framings cost more than they buy. They ask a person to take in a great deal before they have felt anything, and the offer of a choice…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205One line of research

Practise this when you are calm and again when you are wound up. The second one is what makes it available in the moment you need it.

Skills learned in one state can be strangely hard to find in another, which is why people say they forgot to use it. Do the first round with someone…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 33:41One line of research

A skill that lives in your own body and your own phone stays with you after the appointments stop. That is worth choosing for.

Plenty of what helps during treatment ends when the relationship does. This does not. People often say afterwards that the breathing thing was the…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 50:16One line of research

Three minutes of slow breathing between one person and the next is not a break. It is part of the work.

Whoever you sit with next is reading your state before they hear a word of what you say, so arriving settled is a professional act rather than a…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:3One line of research

A useful picture: the parts of your brain are sections of an orchestra. In dysregulation they are playing different tunes at different speeds. The aim is timing, not repair.

This is a kinder frame than damage, and a more accurate one. Nothing is broken or missing. What has gone is the coordination between parts that used…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 6:96One line of research

Neurofeedback usually starts with an assessment, then a block of sessions, then a review, and it is mostly paid for privately. Ask about all of that before you begin.

It is a referral rather than something your therapist adds to a session, so you are taking on a second appointment, a second bill and a second…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 78:11One line of research

Neurofeedback has its strongest support in attention difficulties, decent support in depression and anxiety, and for trauma it is promising rather than proven.

Reported gains include better sleep and attention, less irritability and fewer trauma symptoms. The honest caveats are cost, wide variation in how…

Five minutesYour nervous systemMedical and treatmentQur’an 67:23One line of research

Calm is not automatically the goal, and arousal is not automatically the enemy. What you are after is a system that can move between them.

The older idea was simple: stress bad, relaxation good. It missed that the same slowing down which feels like peace when you are safe is shutdown…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 6:125One line of research

Gut trouble during a hard stretch is not imaginary and it is not a character flaw. Your gut has its own branch of the nervous system, and it answers threat like the rest of you.

It senses chemical change, runs digestion and talks to your immune system, and it is wired into the same circuits that handle fear. So the churning,…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 50:16One line of research

A stress response is built to finish. The rush comes up, you do something with it, and then it drains away and you are back to yourself.

The trouble is that the doing something rarely happens, because you cannot run or shout in the middle of a meeting. The aim is not to stop the surge.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:2One line of research

If you start shaking or trembling after a fright, or partway through a difficult conversation, that is usually your body finishing something rather than falling apart.

Animals do it visibly. A creature that has been hunted and got away will shake hard for a while and then walk off as though nothing happened. In…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 94:3One line of research

Your stress system needs an all clear as much as it needs an alarm. What often breaks after trauma is the signal that says it is over.

Cortisol rises to get you moving, and a feedback loop is meant to notice you are safe and turn the tap off. When that loop is working badly, avoiding…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 106:4One line of research

Unfinished defence tends to park somewhere specific: a jaw that will not unclench, arms that never got to push, legs that never ran.

Mobilising starts deep in the middle of you and travels out to the edges, first the eyes and jaw and voice, then the arms, then the legs. Stopped…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 6:125One line of research

When the danger still feels like it is happening, that is not a mistake in your thinking. It is a sequence in your body that never got to finish.

This is why arguing with yourself does so little. You can know the date, know where you are, know it is long over, and still have a system reporting…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 10:62One line of research

People carrying long term trauma often show low stress hormone levels rather than high ones. Flat and exhausted is a stress presentation too.

Researchers expected the opposite and found this repeatedly. It matches what people describe: not wired but wrung out, foggy, unable to get started.…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 2:286One line of research

A day has a shape. Energy up in the morning, a real dip in the early afternoon, a second lift in the evening, then down into sleep.

That early afternoon dip is normal and not a sign that you are lazy. Knowing the ordinary pattern gives you something to compare your own against,…

Five minutesYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 6:96One line of research