Lesson 3 of 6 · What sabr is, and what it is not
A prophet, grieving, for years
Ya qub lost a son and did not get over it. The Qur'an says he turned away and said, O my sorrow for Yusuf, and that his eyes turned white from grief, and that he was suppressing it. Years of it, visible in his body.
Then the sentence that settles the whole question, in 12:86. I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah.
Look carefully at what that separates. Complaint to Allah, which is exactly what he is doing and is permitted. And complaint against Allah, which is a different act. Pouring out grief in front of your Lord is not a failure of patience. In the Qur'an it is what a prophet does.
And look at the order the verses come in, because the order is the argument. He says the words of patience at the first moment, in 12:18, when they bring him the shirt. He says them again in 12:83, years later. And in 12:84 his eyes have gone white from grief. Patience and grief are in the same passage, about the same man, across years. That is not something we are inferring. It is the order of the text.
His own family, in between, tell him he will ruin his health if he does not stop thinking about Yusuf, or die of it. That is 12:85, and it is very close to what people say now. What follows it is his answer.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The order of the verses is the argument. This is the first moment, when they bring him the shirt, and he says the words of patience.
وَجَآءُو عَلَىٰ قَمِيصِهِۦ بِدَمࣲ كَذِبࣲۚ قَالَ بَلۡ سَوَّلَتۡ لَكُمۡ أَنفُسُكُمۡ أَمۡرࣰ اۖ فَصَبۡرࣱ جَمِيلࣱۖ وَٱللَّهُ ٱلۡمُسۡتَعَانُ عَلَىٰ مَا تَصِفُونَ
and they showed him his shirt, deceptively stained with blood. He cried, ‘No! Your souls have prompted you to do wrong! But it is best to be patient: from God alone I seek help to bear what you are saying.’
Qur’an 12:18
He says the words of patience again here, years after the first loss. The order of these verses is the argument: patience is said at the start and again much later, with the grief still running between them.
قَالَ بَلۡ سَوَّلَتۡ لَكُمۡ أَنفُسُكُمۡ أَمۡرࣰ اۖ فَصَبۡرࣱ جَمِيلٌۖ عَسَى ٱللَّهُ أَن يَأۡتِيَنِي بِهِمۡ جَمِيعًاۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلۡعَلِيمُ ٱلۡحَكِيمُ
Their father said, ‘No! Your souls have prompted you to do wrong! But it is best to be patient: may God bring all of them back to me- He alone is the All Knowing, the All Wise,’
Qur’an 12:83
And here his eyes have gone white from grief. Patience and grief in the same passage, about the same man, across years. That is not something being inferred, it is the order of the text.
وَتَوَلَّىٰ عَنۡهُمۡ وَقَالَ يَٰٓأَسَفَىٰ عَلَىٰ يُوسُفَ وَٱبۡيَضَّتۡ عَيۡنَاهُ مِنَ ٱلۡحُزۡنِ فَهُوَ كَظِيمࣱ
and he turned away from them, saying, ‘Alas for Joseph!’ His eyes went white with grief and he was filled with sorrow
Qur’an 12:84
His own family telling him the grief will ruin him, which is very close to what people say now.
قَالُواْ تَٱللَّهِ تَفۡتَؤُاْ تَذۡكُرُ يُوسُفَ حَتَّىٰ تَكُونَ حَرَضًا أَوۡ تَكُونَ مِنَ ٱلۡهَٰلِكِينَ
They said, ‘By God! You will ruin your health if you do not stop thinking of Joseph, or even die.’
Qur’an 12:85
And his answer, which settles the whole question. Complaint to Allah, which is what he is doing here and is permitted, is a different act from complaint against Allah.
قَالَ إِنَّمَآ أَشۡكُواْ بَثِّي وَحُزۡنِيٓ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ وَأَعۡلَمُ مِنَ ٱللَّهِ مَا لَا تَعۡلَمُونَ
He said, ‘I plead my grief and sorrow before God. I have knowledge from God that you do not have
Qur’an 12:86
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.