Lesson 3 of 6 · What sabr is, and what it is not
Patience at the first stroke, and the half nobody quotes
Almost everybody has heard the last line of this report. Almost nobody hears the rest of it, and the rest of it is the part that helps.
The Prophet passed a woman weeping at a grave and told her to fear Allah and be patient. She did not recognise him and told him to go away, saying he had not been afflicted with a calamity like hers. Later, when she was told who he was, she came to his door. He said that patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.
Two things to take from it. He did not rebuke her for how she spoke to him at that grave. And the line itself is about the moment the blow lands, when the first response is set. It is not a deadline you have missed at eight months, and it is not a sentence to hold over somebody who is still crying in the spring.
Qur’an and Sunnah
Almost everybody has heard the last line of this one. Read the rest. She told him to go away, and she did not recognise him. He did not rebuke her for how she spoke to him at that grave.
Narrated Anas bin Malik:The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by a woman who was weeping beside a grave. He told her to fear Allah and be patient. She said to him, "Go away, for you have not been afflicted with a calamity like mine." And she did not recognize him. Then she was informed that he was the Prophet (ﷺ) . so she went to the house of the Prophet (ﷺ) and there she did not find any guard. Then she said to him, "I did not recognize you." He said, "Verily, the patience is at the first stroke of a calamity
Sahih al-Bukhari 1283graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading
The same episode in a second wording, ending on the line almost everybody has heard: patience is at the first stroke of a calamity. That line is about the moment the blow lands, when the first response is set. It is not a deadline you have missed at eight months.
Narrated Thabit Al-Bunani:Anas bin Malik said to a woman of his family, "Do you know such-and-such a woman?" She replied, "Yes." He said, "The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by her while she was weeping over a grave, and he said to her, 'Be afraid of Allah and be patient.' The woman said (to the Prophet). 'Go away from me, for you do not know my calamity.'" Anas added, "The Prophet (ﷺ) left her and proceeded. A man passed by her and asked her, 'What has Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to you?' She replied, 'I did not recognize him.' The man said, 'He was Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)."' Anas added, "So that woman came to the gate of the Prophet (ﷺ) and she did not find a gate-keeper there, and she said, 'O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! By Allah. I did not recognize you!' The Prophet said, 'No doubt, patience is at the first stroke of a calamity
Sahih al-Bukhari 7154graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading