Lesson 6 of 6 · When grief has become something else
If one thing stays with you
Let it be this.
It was a bereavement, and the reason nobody treated it as one is that the machinery which handles a death is social, and none of it switched on.
Of the three reports people forward about a miscarried child, two are graded weak and the graders divide on the third. What is sound is stronger than most people know and was in Bukhari and Muslim the whole time. A woman said the number did not describe her, and the number came down to two. The prayer over a miscarried child asks forgiveness and mercy for the parents, by name. Losing the weak ones costs you nothing.
And what changes things is not processing. It is standing. One name, one date, one place, or one person told. Chosen by you, done once, and it does not have to be explained to anybody.
Qur’an and Sunnah
The prayer over a miscarried child asks forgiveness and mercy for the parents, by name.
Narrated Al-Mughirah ibn Shu'bah: (I think that the people of Ziyad informed me that he reported on the authority of the Prophet (ﷺ): A rider should go behind the bier, and those on foot should walk behind it, in front of it, on its right and on its left keeping near it. Prayer should be offered over an abortion and forgiveness and mercy supplicated for its parents
Sunan Abi Dawud 3180graded sound, albanithe Arabic and its grading
And the other half of it. A woman said the number did not describe her, and the number came down to two. What is sound here is stronger than most people know, and losing the weak reports costs you nothing.
Narrated Abu Sa`id:The women requested the Prophet, "Please fix a day for us." So the Prophet (ﷺ) preached to them and said, "A woman whose three children died would be screened from the Hell Fire by them," Hearing that, a woman asked, "If two died?" The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, "Even two (would screen her from the (Hell) Fire. " And Abu Huraira added, "Those children should be below the age of puberty
Sahih al-Bukhari 1249graded sound, sahihaynthe Arabic and its grading