Loading practices
Loading practices
Areas › Your marriage › Affection and touch
A held hug at the door, a real kiss, not the quick automatic one. Let it last.
God placed affection and mercy between spouses (Qur'an 30:21). A greeting that lingers is that affection made physical for a moment.
الروم
وَمِنۡ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٰجࣰ ا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَكُم مَّوَدَّةࣰ وَرَحۡمَةًۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَأٓيَٰتࣲ لِّقَوۡمࣲ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect
Qur’an 30:21read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Gottman treats partings and reunions as small rituals of connection that either feed the bond or pass unnoticed. Holding the goodbye or the hello a few seconds longer turns an automatic transition into a moment where your partner feels chosen.
John M. Gottman; Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown
Principle 3, Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away. Romance is built in the ordinary moment when one partner makes a small bid and the other turns toward it. The running total of those turnings, not the grand gesture, is what fills the emotional bank account.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Small moments of affection at thresholds anchor a couple's daily connection.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Turn Toward Instead of Away; Rituals of Connection, the parting and reunion ritual (Small Things Often).