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Areas › Your marriage › Rituals of connection
The morning tea, the evening walk, the goodnight. Small, repeated, only yours.
He made the night and day to follow each other for whoever wishes to remember (Qur'an 25:62). A life together is built on returning rhythms.
الفرقان
وَهُوَ ٱلَّذِي جَعَلَ ٱلَّيۡلَ وَٱلنَّهَارَ خِلۡفَةࣰ لِّمَنۡ أَرَادَ أَن يَذَّكَّرَ أَوۡ أَرَادَ شُكُورࣰ ا
it is He who made the night and day follow each other- so anyone who wishes may be mindful or show gratitude
Qur’an 25:62read it in the library
Translation: M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, The Qur'an, Oxford University Press, 2004.
Rituals of connection are Gottman's name for the small repeated moments a couple can count on, like the morning tea or the goodnight. Protecting one of them means you keep meeting without having to arrange it each time.
John M. Gottman; Nan Silver (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown
Principle 3, Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away. Romance is built in the ordinary moment when one partner makes a small bid and the other turns toward it. The running total of those turnings, not the grand gesture, is what fills the emotional bank account.
Strength of evidence: one line of research. A single study, or a theoretical account.
Rituals of connection accumulate into felt security and shared identity.
Where this sits: Gottman method, Turn Toward Instead of Away; Rituals of Connection, protecting one daily ritual.